Chapter 45
45
+25 BONUS
That bastard, Irvin, never treated me like a wife, yet he was obsessed with having sex with me.
It was textbook scumbag behavior, but back then, I pathetically believed it was proof that he loved me.
I told myself that if he truly didn’t care or was tired of me, he wouldn’t touch me let alone be so relentless.
Women only give themselves to men they like. Once that affection is gone, even being touched feels repulsive.
However, men could separate sex from love with ease. A man wanting to sleep with you didn’t mean he loved you.
After being hurt, I needed sleeping pills just to get through the night, but here, I didn’t dare take sleeping pills, not even with the door locked.
I lay there with my eyes closed, wide awake past two in the morning, sleep still out of reach.
I started counting sheep, again and again, until I finally drifted off in a hazy, fragile slumber.
Suddenly, the strong stench of alcohol filled the air, jolting me awake. I instinctively tried to sit up, panic surging through me.
Before I could move, a tall figure lunged toward me. I wanted to run, but my body was frozen , unable to move.
Thankfully, the bed was soft enough that he didn’t completely crush me beneath his weight. Instead, he wrapped his arms around me, rolled over, and pulled me tightly against his chest.
Still shaken, I cursed myself for leaving the taser on the nightstand instead of under my pillow. Otherwise, I would have shocked this bastard again without hesitation.
I seriously couldn’t tell if he was a CEO or a thief. I changed the passcode, and he cracked it in seconds. I locked the door, and he still managed to sneak in without a sound!”
Instinctively, I struggled to break free from his grip, but held me even tighter.
With the strong smell of alcohol heavy on his breath, he whispered in my ear, “Babe… let’s stop fighting, alright? Let’s forget about the past and start fresh, okay?
“I know I didn’t realize you were really drowning at Grandma’s birthday party and almost caused an accident. It was my fault. I know I hurt you, and I’m sorry. Please, forgive me this time, babe.”
Irvin always thought that I wanted a divorce because I was so upset and angry about nearly drowning at Grandma’s birthday party.
“Irvin, that’s not-”
I wanted to say that it wasn’t because of the drowning. Before I could speak, he tightened his grip on me, burying his head in the crook of my neck.
His voice was muffled, full of a hurt that made my heart ache. “Please, don’t be angry. I swear I won’t be like I was before… There’s nothing between me and Julianne. I’ve never done anything to hurt you… Please, don’t be so cold to me. Don’t say such cruel things. It really hurts.”
Irvin couldn’t bear hearing me talk about divorce or parting on good terms anymore. No matter how much he struggled with the past, he was determined to force himself to let it go. He was fine with it as long as I was okay and as long as I still loved him like I used to.
He had never humbled himself like this before. He must have drank a lot to get him to say those words.
1/2
# 25 BOS
If I were the old me, heating this would’ve broken me down to tears. I would’ve clung tightly to him, let go of everything, and kept loving him without hesitation.
However, I wasn’t that woman anymore. Now, all his words stirred in me was sheet impatience and disgust.
Why should I care if he was hurting? He was the kind of guy who brought an umbrella after the storm was over, hit the brakes only after slamming into a wall, or handed a person a heater in the middle of summer.
What was the point? It was too late and downright pathetic
I was really disgusted by his behaviour.