Chapter 18
Pain. That was all she felt, an intense agonizing pain she had never experienced in her life, a pain far worse than when she had been awake and conscious. It burned through her body relentlessly, making her feel as though her insides were on fire.
Was death supposed to be this agonizing and unbearable? Wasn’t she supposed to be numb and unfeeling now that it was all over? She wondered weakly as she felt the pain tear through her from the inside out.
At some point, she passed out.
When she woke again, there were voices, disoriented, overlapping voices all around her. Unable to comprehend the words, panic surged inside her. The anxiety increased when she realized she couldn’t move or open her eyes. Her entire body was immobilized and it reminded her of when she was bound with chains and tortured in the Hollow quarters.
No. She didn’t want to be back in that place. That dark place where she had been beaten, humiliated, and broken. No, she didn’t want to be there again. She tried to open her eyes, but it seemed an impossible feat. She tried to move her limbs, to twitch a finger, anything, but nothing responded.
Her body felt foreign, unresponsive.
She hated confinement. They would beat her again. Over and over.
Please no. Don’t hit me!
“Doctor! She’s coming around!” came a voice.
“What is it p>
“Her heart rate has escalated dramatically p>
“Alright, let’s bring it down a bit. Miss,” the doctor said imperiously, “calm down. Everything is alright. There’s nothing to worry about p>
“Doctor, the Alpha is here p>
Alpha?
What Alpha? Was Evan here? Had he come to break her again, to hurt her all over and break her eye? No, don’t let him come in. Don’t let him hurt me. Please… Help me. Help p>
“Keep the Alpha outside until we’ve stabilized her. She’s panicking more, and she needs to stay calm or our efforts would be in vain.” Said the doctor, who was a healer to the weaker werewolves in the pack but this one wasn’t only weak but wolfless which required human treatment methods which took a lot of time and careful diagnosis then full treatment but those efforts were about to be wasted it seemed because the patient wasn’t calming down at all!
“What’s the matter p>
The new voice seemed to come from miles away to Viola, yet it carried a ring of authority that could only belong to someone powerful.
The sound of it made her tense, made her struggle to come fully awake and protect herself from monsters. Powerful people hurt her. They caused pain. They destroyed and wanted her dead.
“Alpha, please give us a few p>
“I can’t. She needs to relax because it’s fucking getting to me.” He Gritted furiously.
That voice. She knew the voice. He was going to kill her as well p>
She was suddenly aware of him, very close to her now, and everything inside her struggled to rebel and protect herself from the pain he might also inflict on her. But instead of pain, which she expected, he was bending over her, speaking softly and reassuringly.
“You’re going to be fine. I know you’re frightened, but you don’t have to be anymore. You need to calm down and let the sedative work so they can treat you,” he whispered close to her ear, his breath a warm flutter against her.
Nobody had been this nice to her in years. Was he really the same person?
Viola forced her eyelids open a fraction. A bright fluorescent light burned directly behind his head, making his features indistinct. Her vision was unclear and hazy, the world swimming in white. The haze made panic claw at her chest, but she clung to his words. He spoke with such certainty, such conviction, that she believed him despite herself.
She reached for his hand, or rather, tried to. He must have sensed her silent plea for contact because he placed his hand lightly on her shoulder.
Her anxiety slowly waned at his light touch, or perhaps it was the powerful sedative flowing through her IV beginning to take effect. Either way, she allowed herself to be lulled, feeling strangely safer with this stranger beside her, his presence grounding her.
“She’s drifting off. You can leave now. Her surgery will be in two hours p>
“I’m staying until then p>
Those were the last words she heard before she slipped back into unconsciousness.
She came awake countless times after that. Sometimes she could feel people around her, hear them speaking, but she couldn’t understand what they were saying or recognize who they were.
Whenever she tried to open her eyes, all she saw was white.
Was she in heaven?
That was impossible. If heaven existed, she hadn’t done anything in her life to deserve it. She had been cruel, selfish, and undeserving of anyone’s love. Unwanted and alone and bitter with so much resentment inside her. People like that don’t belong in heaven.
And if this was heaven, then it had its own hell, because her body was still in pain. She moaned, but the sound tore through her raw throat and burned her tongue and lips.
This was hell. She had finally died and got what everyone she had tried to love and keep in her life thought she deserved. Go to hell, they say, you are a wicked and undeserving bitch, they say…I am in hell. I am in pain. Make it stop. Make me numb.
In her disoriented state, she longed for that presence, the one who had reassured her, the one who had spoken to her like everything would truly be fine. Come to me. Talk to me again. I am afraid this pain would never end p>
When she woke again, for what felt like the tenth time, the room was quieter. No crowded voices. But someone was near her. She felt something cold touch her burning skin and nearly moaned in pleasure at the relief. When the coolness disappeared, she felt a sharp wave of loss, almost like crying, but it returned, this time brushing her dry lips. Cool drops slipped into her mouth and down her raw, parched throat.
Water.
Viola cried inside her mind. More. She wanted more. She tried to move her mouth, her eyes, anything to ask for it, but the person sensed her need and brought the water back again. It flowed down her throat, easing something tight and painful inside her, but then—
She choked.
Her chest heaved as she coughed violently, the movement sending sharp pain through her body. She couldn’t breathe. Panic surged again until a hand slid under her head, lifting it, while another rubbed her chest gently, whispering soothing words into her ear.
The voice and words were so soothing, words she had longed to hear someone whisper to her while she was in that darkness and lonely.
Don’t leave me. She thought as she felt the person slowly ease her back down when she stopped coughing. Stay with me. Don’t go.
She slipped back into unconsciousness once more.
When she woke again, he was there. He didn’t go. He stayed.
Minutes, hours, days, it was impossible to tell how long she had been like this. Time had no meaning anymore, and the disorientation had lessened and her head felt a lit bit clearer and calmer. She could feel that someone else was present with him in the room this time around.
She couldn’t see them, but she could hear them.
There was a pause, a stretch of silence that felt heavy. Then the voice she recognized, the one that had whispered reassurance to her, answered. This time, it was stripped of warmth, devoid of emotion, carrying the unique accent she recognized from nights long ago.
“No. Once she gets better, I’m sending her away. She doesn’t belong here p>
No.
Don’t send me away.
Viola cried silently inside her mind. The words never reached her mouth. She couldn’t speak, couldn’t protest, couldn’t beg. She only lay there as the pain stabbed deeper into her heart, reminding her that this wasn’t heaven at all.
This man wasn’t kind. Just like when she had first met him, when he had been kind and nice for a few minutes and then turned his back on her, he was doing it again.
He had rejected her, saved her from death, and now, when she was broken and helpless, he would send her away, back to the nightmare.
You should have let me die. She wanted to say it, wanted to tell him she would never forgive him for saving her only to send her away. You were supposed to be different. You were supposed to be my mate. I hate you. I hate you.
Those words never went past her thoughts, but a small moan slipped from her lips, and a single tear rolled from the corner of her closed eye. The person standing over her noticed it and clenched his fist before turning away and leaving her.