Chapter 155
Chapter 155
ATASHA’S POV
“Sadly, there is no way to go around it.” Agape’s words struck me like a bell inside my skull, deep, echoing, and impossible to silence.
I swallowed hard, the sound too loud in the stillness. The tea on the table had gone cold, untouched, and the air felt too heavy to breathe. My chest tightened with something sharp, anger mixing with fear until I couldn’t tell them apart. There was a ringing in my ears, like my body was refusing to let the words settle.
No way around it. How is that even possible? There has to be something that I could do. Perhaps a secret that I needed to unravel or… just something p>
The phrase looped in my mind again and again, sinking deeper with every beat of my heart. The pain wasn’t a risk, it was a certainty. It would come, and when it did, it would burn through me and straight into Cassian. And all of it, every ounce of it, would be because of me.
My throat felt dry. “There has to be something,” I said quietly. My voice cracked on the last word, and I pressed my lips together, forcing control I didn’t really have.
Agape didn’t answer right away. He only watched me, and that silence said everything.
Agape finally spoke after what felt like an endless silence. “Beastmen are rare for a reason, Your Highness. They are… a mistake of nature. Wolves that should not exist. Their blood carries both the strength of a beast and the curse that comes with it. The only way for them to free themselves from that curse is through their mate.” His voice remained calm, but the weight behind his words was brutal.
He continued. “However, it also means that once the bond is complete, they will feel everything their mate feels. Every wound. Every pain. Every breath of suffering will now belong to both p>
I felt my lips tremble, and I pressed them together to keep them from shaking. The words sank in too fast, too deep, until my body couldn’t tell if it wanted to freeze or collapse. My thoughts began to race, pieces of everything Cassian had ever done falling into place one after another. He knew. He must have known. He always did.
He must have known that I was his mate even before the Red Moon. Maybe that was why he didn’t kill me the night we met. Maybe that was why he married me. Maybe it had nothing to do with alliances or politics. Maybe it was because of this bond, the same one that now doomed him to feel my pain.
I swallowed hard, my voice breaking when I finally managed to speak. “Was this part of your deal with him p>
Agape didn’t move for a moment, then slowly nodded. “I am not supposed to say,” he admitted. “But the terms of our agreement only forbid me from telling you outright. They said nothing about answering your questions p>
The words hit harder than I expected. “You were the one who told him about the pain,” I said. It wasn’t a question anymore.
“Yes,” he said. “I told His Lordship what the bond would mean for him p>
“When?” I asked, though I already knew the answer.
The night of our meeting.” Agape replied. “When everyone was dismissed from the chamber”
The memory came back instantly. It was when Cassian asked everyone to leave, including me. I knew they would have some kind of agreement in place, Cassian was not foolish. He would never agree to protect them if the Elder didn’t promise him something in return.
“So this was part of his deal with you,” I said, my tone flat.
Agape nodded. “Yes. That was the arrangement. His Lordship agreed to bear the consequences in silence. In exchange for his protection, I told him everything about mates. Things that even his grandmother didn’t know p>
I gripped the edge of the table, trying to ground myself. My hands felt cold. “How did you even know?” I asked, almost whispering. “How did you know we were mates p>
Agape’s eyes met mine, and for the first time, there was something almost gentle with them. “The fae are tied to the natural order,” he said. “We sense things that wolves cannot, patterns, connections, the threads that run between living beings. Beasts, especially, are a part of that web. It is easy for us to see when two souls have already been bound p>
I nodded slowly, trying to process it all. My throat felt tight, and I forced myself to breathe evenly. Everything made sense now. And this realization only made me angrier. I had been so foolish and blind!
I tried to compose myself, straightening my posture and blinking back the tears that threatened to fall. But the harder I tried to stay calm, the more my chest ached. He knew what this would cost him, and he did it
anyway.
No. This wasn’t on Cassian. None of it was. This was because of me, because of the choices I made without understanding what they would cost. I had been so determined to prove myself to the North, so sure that if I carried the burden, it would somehow protect him in the end. But all I’d done was condemn him to share the pain that should have been mine alone.
In the end, he was the one forced into an impossible choice. Either he would keep living with the curse that tore at him from within, or he would take on the suffering meant for his mate. There was no version of this where he didn’t hurt.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. Not between us. Not when all I ever wanted was to spare him.
“My lady Agape’s voice interrupted my stupor. I turned to him as he added. “His Lordship… only wanted to protect his mate p>
Protect his mate.
A short, bitter laugh escaped me. Of course, that was what he’d been doing all along. Cassian had been trying to protect me. The reason he delayed the marking, even when he knew it would drive him closer to madness, wasn’t hesitation or doubt. It was because he didn’t want me to feel what he felt. He didn’t want me to carry his pain.
And yet, in the end, he had no choice. He completed the bond not for himself, but to shield me from mine. The same bond he’d tried to avoid became the very thing that tied him to my suffering.