Chapter 102
Chapter 102
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Not intentionally, not directly, but I had let him believe that our babies were gone, and it had shattered him far worse than I could have guessed. Was this what Lance and Rae had been trying to explain to me while I was gone?
He was pacing the office like a caged animal, his hands shaking at his sides as he spoke. His voice was low and intense, leaving no doubt about the sincerity of his words.
“Nolan,” I said softly, stepping closer. “I know you’re angry. You have every right to be. I p>
“Don’t,” he snapped, the edge in his voice cutting sharper than he intended. His eyes were storm clouds, stormier than I remembered. “Don’t apologize. Don’t you dare try to take responsibility for this p>
But it was my responsibility. All of it. And I couldn’t stop the guilt twisting in my chest. I hadn’t just disappeared from him. I’d hidden the babies. The ones he didn’t even know were alive.
I swallowed the lump in my throat and reached out, placing my hand lightly on his arm. The contact made him stiffen, but I didn’t pull away. I had to reach him, had to try and soothe some of this unbearable anger.
If using the mate bond to force him to calm down was my only option, then I’d take it. The tingling sensation passed between us once again. It was warm, pleasant on my fingertips. It calmed me as much as it seemed to calm
him.
He stood still, looking down at my hands with an unreadable expression.
“I’m okay, Nolan,” I whispered, my heart breaking under the weight of my words I couldn’t yet say aloud. “I’m here p>
He stared at me, chest heaving, eyes narrowing in confusion. “You are not okay p>
I forced myself to nod, even as my mind screamed. If he knew… if he knew p>
“You don’t know,” I said quietly, the words trembling. “You don’t know what it’s been like. I… I didn’t want to run away. I didn’t know who I could trust. I p>
“It’s my fault,” he insisted, putting his hand over mine. “I drove you away p>
I shook my head, biting my lip. I wanted so badly to calm his guilt, to tell him that his sons were okay. Not yet. Not yet. I couldn’t tell him—not now. The moment wasn’t safe. But I could hold him. Could let him feel that I was still
here. Still alive.
He drew in a sharp breath, gripping the edge of the desk like it would anchor him. “Ellie… if anything happens to
you-
“No one’s going to hurt me,” I said firmly, though my own voice trembled. “I promise you, Nolan p>
He closed his eyes for a moment, and I could see the war waging inside him. Rage, fear, relief… and something softer. Something I wasn’t supposed to see.
And yet there it was: his wolf, tense but restrained, his aura vibrating with protectiveness that had grown in the months I’d been gone.
“I he started, voice thick. Then stopped. His jaw tightened. I knew he was trying
to pull himself together, trying to focus on the facts instead of the emotions threatening to drag him under.
I didn’t let go of his arm. I couldn’t. Not yet. My heart was breaking for him, for what
he didn’t know, for what I’d hidden. I swallowed hard, wishing I could tell him
everything, but the fear of what would happen if he knew the
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Chapter 102
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truth paralyzed me.
He finally let out a long, shaky breath and looked at me with stormy eyes that softened just a fraction. “I won’t stop,” he said quietly, almost to himself. “Not until I know the truth. Not until I make him pay. Not until this… this nightmare ends p>
I nodded, brushing my thumb over the back of his hand. “I know,” I whispered. “And I’m here now. That counts for something, doesn’t it p>
He stared at me a long moment, searching, questioning. I didn’t dare look away. Not yet.
“Yes,” he said finally, voice low, steadying. “It counts p>
And in that fragile truce, in that brief moment of quiet between heartbeats, I realized something terrifying: no matter how much I’d tried to keep him at a distance, no matter how much I’d hidden, no matter how much guilt weighed me down… he was still mine. My mate.
And I still needed him.
Even if neither of us wanted this.
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