Chapter 138
Chapter 138
Ellie POV
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The dreams were getting worse, or at least stronger. I wasn’t sure if worse was even the right word. Ever since Nolan’s trip to the altar in search of the Goddess’s blessing, I’d been having strange dreams.
I knew by now that the staff in the packhouse was paying attention, and the staff was probably the source of half the rumors about me. I also knew there wasn’t much I could do about it.
I couldn’t even really blame them for being curious. What was happening to me was… strange. They wanted to know if their Luma truly was chosen by the Goddess. They wanted to know if there was something about me that had caused all the unusual events that had plagued the pack these last few years. It was normal for them to wonder if something extraordinary was at play.
I couldn’t blame them for their curiosity, as much as I wished they’d leave me alone.
There were many mornings I woke up in a cold sweat, my own voice echoing in the room, spilling rushed, panicked words that often didn’t make sense. I was probably talking in my sleep, which only fueled the gossip.
I’d talked to Nolan about it, and to my surprise, he’d been receptive. Despite not believing in the Goddess or attaching any higher meaning to what I was going through, he had offered an explanation: stress.
In his mind, everything that had happened had pushed me to my limits, and the strain was making old memories surface in fragmented, unsettling ways, often through dreams.
On a good day, I could tell myself that his reasoning made sense. That he was probably right.
But today wasn’t a good day.
The dream I’d had last night was intense and it involved the boys. I hadn’t been able
to get it out of my head since I woke up around four this morning.
In the dream, August and lan weren’t babies anymore. They were older, maybe ten or twelve.
Of course, I recognized them; I’d know my children anywhere. But they didn’t recognize me. When I told them I was their mother, they looked at me with such blank, empty expressions that something deep inside me
shattered.
I knew I’d been spending too much time away from them. I knew I was missing too much. But I felt trapped.
At this point, I’d been keeping up the lie about them for too long, and I didn’t know how to fix it. If I told Nolan the truth, I had no idea how he would react-and that terrified me.
But that wasn’t even the worst part. The worst part was when August and lan turned away from me… and
walked to Nolan.
I had no idea what kind of message that was supposed to be. Maybe it was just my guilty, exhausted mind manifesting fear and regret in the cruelest way possible. But it felt like more than that. It felt like a warning and one I desperately wanted to understand, but didn’t know how.
So, I went for a walk.
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Chapter 138
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I left the packhouse early this morning to get some air, to clear my head. It was stupid to sneak out, of course it was. Nolan had assigned me security for a reason.
But I didn’t want some confused warrior trailing behind me at five in the morning, wondering what had gotten into the Luma and possibly spreading more rumors. So I slipped out the same way Lance had taught me.
I only meant to walk for a little while. I didn’t expect anyone to see me. I certainly didn’t expect anyone to follow
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At first, I told myself I was imagining it. But the sound of footsteps behind me was steady, measured. The hair on the back of my neck prickled. Someone was watching me.
Part of me wanted to run. Another part warned me that doing so might make things worse. So I kept walking- slow, steady-back toward the packhouse, hoping I’d get there before anything serious happened.
The house wasn’t far now. If I screamed, someone inside would hear me. That thought brought some comfort… but not much.
Because then, I heard them.
A voice calling to me in the predawn darkness. A woman’s voice. She was calling out. “Messenger! Chosen One p>
My stomach twisted. So that was why. Because of those damn rumors. Because they thought the Goddess had chosen me.
Chosen me for what, exactly? I didn’t even know. The thought filled me with both fear and anger.
I walked faster.
“Messenger!” the woman shouted again, her voice rising in pitch. “Give me guidance! Don’t reject me p>
Something in her tone sent a chill down my spine. Every instinct I had screamed danger.
I broke into a run.
The moment I did, she ran too, and she was fast. Too fast.
She caught up to me in seconds. I hit the ground hard, concrete scraping my palms and tearing the knees of my pants. She was on my back, pinning my flailing arms in her surprisingly firm grip. I struggled, but panic blurred everything. The world felt sharp and too bright and too close.
Then, suddenly-it was over.
The pressure on my back vanished. I turned, gasping, to see Kieran standing over
me.
He had the woman by the back of her neck in a grip so strong she could barely move. She was sobbing, begging him to let her go, insisting that she only wanted help. But Kieran’s expression didn’t soften.
“If I ever see you touch her again,” he said, his voice cold as steel, “you will lose your hands p>
The woman went pale. The moment he released her, she ran.
Kieran turned to me, his harshness melting instantly into concern. “What on earth
are you doing out here alone? There are dangerous people out here p>
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I wanted to argue or to agree, just to say something, but no words came out. Just a choked, broken sob. My mind reeled from the encounter that could have gone so differently.
I was lucky. So, so lucky that Kieran had been there. That someone had been there.
If he’d arrived a moment later or if the woman had been stronger or if she’d had a weapon-
And then a worse thought hit me.
What if something like this had happened while the boys were with me?
The idea was enough to break me. Tears spilled down my face freely and I couldn’t stop them.
Kieran stepped closer, and I let him pull me into an embrace.
It was grounding-comforting-in a way I desperately needed. The remnants of the dream, the woman’s words, the fear clawing at my chest… it all blended into one terrible certainty:
Whatever this was-whatever the Goddess’s “messenger” was-it was dangerous. Not just to me, but to everyone I loved.
I had to protect myself. I had to protect my boys.
Because this had spiraled out of control far too quickly, and I couldn’t let it go any further. I had far too much to protect. I couldn’t afford any more reckless decisions or careless actions to put anyone in danger.
But even if I took every possible precaution, dangers would remain. The truth was, I couldn’t do this alone.
I needed an Alpha.
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