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Chapter 58
Chapter 2
I froze for a moment.
If this had been a voice I’d never heard, I might have glanced up to satisfy my curiosity.
But unfortunately, this was the voice that had filled my nightmares every night for the past five years.
On those sleepless nights when I needed pills just to drift off, Jasper’s words replayed in my ears, over and over. “Chloe, you’re too sweet. I’d only be a bad influence on you p>
“Chloe, learn to smoke. It looks cool on girls-I want to see a different side of you p>
And so, under his coaxing, I gave in. I learned.
Starting my sophomore year, I went from being one of Jasper’s admirers to his bed partner.
Later, I beat out all the other girls-upperclassmen and underclassmen alike-and became his girlfriend for
three whole years.
The day he accepted my confession, the weather was miserable-wind howling outside.
He’d just dropped off a senior girl after their date, his car parked right outside the girl’s dormitory.
His slender fingers held a cigarette lazily against the window, as if he were resting.
Ash scattered in the wind, vanishing into the air.
I’d thrown on a jacket, run downstairs, and knocked on his window.
Emboldened by that sliver of special attention he’d always shown me, I confessed,
At that moment, even the wind seemed to quiet-like a movie put on pause,
I waited, still, for his reply.
Jasper turned to look at me. He took out a cigarette and held it toward my lips.
His dark eyes were bottomless, dangerously compelling.
Without thinking, I let my lips close around it-brushing his fingers.
He didn’t pull away.
A faint trace of amusement gave way to quiet permission. All he said was: “The good girl’s not so good anymore p>
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Back then, I was drowning in his gaze, completely missing what those words truly meant.
It wasn’t until graduation day-our last meeting, the last time he ever invited me to a hotel-that it finally hit
H
After we were together, he casually handed me a cigarette.
“When I get married, I won’t choose a woman who smokes after sex p>
I swallowed the lump in my throat and asked him why.
Jasper smiled, smoke curling from his fingers. His tone was more serious than I’d ever heard.
“Chloe, I like them innocent p>
Tears stung my eyes, stealing my breath.
Innocent.
He said he liked them innocent.
Yet once, he’d told me over and over that I was too innocent, too well-behaved-that he didn’t know what to
do with me.
Only now did I finally understand what he meant back then.
Once I stopped being “good,” I became just another plaything to him-someone to play with, then discard.
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