Chapter 77
When I finally pull back, my face feels swollen, and my eyes are burning. Tessa hands me a tissue without a word. I wipe my face, embarrassed and relieved all at once.
“I’m sorry,” I say weakly.
June frowns. “For what p>
“For dumping this on you guys p>
She shakes her head. “You didn’t dump anything. I’m glad you trusted us enough to say anything, even though we practically eavesdropped on you and your husband’s conversation p>
I nod, even though I’m not sure trust is the right word p>
And for the first time since all of this started, I let myself to just sit there and welcome the comfort offered to me.
I slowly drift off without meaning to. One minute Tessa’s hand is moving slow and steady across my back, and the next my body just gives up. My thoughts blur slowly and the room fades while sleep takes me whole.
I wake up to a warm body.
There’s weight behind me, an arm wrapped around my waist. For a second, I’m still half asleep, my brain trying to place where I am. The bed feels different too, much softer then the couch I slept in at Margaret’s place. The sheets smell like soap with something woody underneath.
Then it hits me whose body carries that unique scent.
I tense and shove back hard, my elbow catching against a chest. “What in the fucking hell p>
His arm tightens instantly, locking me in place.
“Stop,” Zane says quietly, his voice rough with sleep. “Just stop for a second p>
I twist anyway, panic flaring hot and fast. “Get off of me, you freak. How did I even get here p>
He doesn’t let go. If anything, he pulls me closer, his chin resting briefly against the top of my head. “You fell asleep. You wouldn’t wake up so I carried and brought you here p>
“That doesn’t give you the right to fu p>
“I know, I know little spitfire” he cuts in, sounding tired.. “Just… just stay still for a minute longer. I need this p>
The words throw me off completely.
I still struggle for a while, but it’s half-hearted now, more reflex than intent. He doesn’t budge though. His hold is firm but not rough, like he’s afraid if he loosens it I’ll disappear.
My chest rises and falls too fast. My head feels heavy, that familiar light spin hovering at the edges. Fighting takes more out of me than I expect
“Fine,” I mutter finally. “A minute p>
His grip loosens just enough that I can breathe properly, but he doesn’t let go. We lie there in silence. His heartbeat is steady behind me, slow and grounding in a way I hate that I notice.
After a while, he speaks.
“I shouldn’t have said those things to you yesterday p>
I don’t answer.
“I overreacted,” he continues. “I crossed lines that shouldn’t have crossed p>
Still nothing from me.
He exhales. “I’m sorry. For calling you a corpse, I’m sorry for everything I said last night p>
My throat tightens, and I have to swallow before I can speak. “You don’t get to say things like that, apologize and think it’s all over p>
“I know,” he says. “But I am sorry p>
I stare at the wall ahead of me, my jaw clenched. Part of me wants to pull away again, to remind him that apologies don’t erase damage. Another part is just too tired to keep the armor up.
He shifts slightly behind me, careful not to jostle me. “Have you tried treating it p>
“Yes,” I say quietly. “More times than I can count p>
“And p>
“It didn’t work, I’m too far gone g” I reply. “It kept getting worse. Different doctors. Different treatments. Same outcome p>
There’s a pause. I can almost hear him thinking.
“So you just… stopped p>
I nod once. “I let it be and accepted my fate p>
His arm tightens again, just for a second. “I’ll fly someone in. The best I can find p>
I don’t argue. I don’t tell him it won’t change anything. I just nod, staring at nothing.
“Okay,” I say.
He knows it’s not agreement. He lets it go anyway.
“Get some more rest,” he murmurs. “I’ll be back later, I am needed at work p>
He shifts away carefully, easing his arm from around me like he’s worried the movement alone might break something fragile. The bed dips as he stands. I hear him move around the room, the soft sounds of drawers opening, clothes rustling.
The bathroom door closes. The shower starts.
I stare at the empty space where he was, my body already sinking back into the mattress. The room feels too quiet again. My eyelids grow heavy, my limbs sinking like they’re made of stone.
By the time the shower stops and he comes back out, I’m already slipping under.
The last thing I feel is the mattress shifting slightly as he kisses my forehead, then nothing at all.
When I wake up, I decide to go downstairs and get something to eat.
I can hear Margaret in the kitchen when I reach the foot of the stairs, i pause debating whether I actually want to be seen. My stomach twists, hunger and nausea tangled together, I haven’t eaten properly since yesterday morning?. Maybe longer.
I step into the kitchen anyway.
Margaret looks up immediately at the sound of my footsteps. Her eyes softening the second she sees me. She wipes her hands on her apron and comes closer, stopping just short of touching me.
“You’re up,” she says gently.
“Yeah p>
“You sleep well p>
I shrug. “A bit p>
She studies my face for awhile.
“There’s soup, if you want some” she says.
“That sounds good p>
She turns back to the stove, ladling some into a bowl. I sit at the counter instead of the table, resting my elbows on the cool marble.
Margaret slides the bowl in front of me and places a spoon beside it.
I take a few bites and it It tastes amazing.
“Zane left already,” she says quietly.
“I know p>
She nods.
I finish half the bowl before my appetite disappears again. I push it away and wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.
“I’m going to go outside for a bit,” i say to Margaret.