Chapter 135
135
When I returned to the house, the atmosphere was like a funeral.
Adriano stood outside by himself, smoking a cigarette and staring off into the darkness. I hadn’t even known he smoked; maybe he only did it when he was stressed.
Massimo stood silently with the footmen under the portico. He nodded somberly to me as I got out of the car and headed inside.
It felt like someone had died.
And I knew that however bad it was for everyone else, it was a thousand times worse for Dario.
When I walked into the foyer, Niccolo was coming out of the parlor. He’d just closed the door behind him.
“He in there?” I asked, gesturing with my head.
Niccolo raised one eyebrow like he was saying Unfortunately.
I headed for the parlor.
“He’s not going to talk to you,” Niccolo warned me.
“I’ll make him,” I said as I opened the door.
Dario sat at the far end of the room, alone behind his giant desk, staring out into space.
As soon as he heard the door, he snarled, “I told you – ”
Then he looked over and saw it was me.
“Oh.” His anger disappeared, only to be replaced with a bone-deep weariness. “I’m not in the mood to talk right now p>
“We don’t have to talk,” I said as I shut the door and walked over to the sidebar. I grabbed a bottle of scotch and two glasses and walked over to the desk.
After I poured a glass, I held it out for him.
He looked at me resentfully for a moment, like he might tell me to get the hell out… and then he sighed and took the glass.
I poured myself a shot, turned the nearest chair around towards the desk so I could face him, and sat down.
“She’s safe?” Dario asked.
“Well… she’s home p>
‘Safe’ was another thing entirely.
Dario just nodded dully as he went back to his thousand-yard stare.
“So,” I said as I sipped my scotch. “What happened p>
He glared at me. “I thought we didn’t have to talk p>
I made a face like Sorry. “I think we both know that was a lie p>
He glared at me for a second more – then his anger broke, and he gave me a wry half-smile, like You motherfucker.
He took a sip of the scotch and went back to staring into space… but he started talking.
“Niccolo says I’m a fool because I’m in love with her and won’t admit it p>
“Are you p>
His eyes darted over to me angrily. “Am I what? In love with her, or a fool p>
“Well, I know you’re not a fool. So what about the other part p>
He sighed heavily. “I don’t know p>
“You can lie to yourself, but don’t try to get me to swallow your bullshit,” I said quietly.
He looked over at me like I’d slapped him –
And then a smile of recognition slowly crept across his face.
“I didn’t know if you would remember that,” I said with a hint of a smile myself.
“How could I forget?” he said quietly. “That was the moment we truly became friends… when we stopped lying to each other and started telling the truth p>
“So… was it a one-time thing p>
He frowned like he didn’t understand. “Was what a one-time thing p>
“Now that I work for you – now that I’m your enforcer, or whatever you want to call it – am I supposed to stop telling you the truth? And stop asking you for the truth p>
He glared at me out of the corner of his eye. “I’m not sure I like where this is heading p>
“Too bad,” I said quietly. I paused, then finally asked what this had all been leading up to. “She’s the One, isn’t she p>
He closed his eyes and grimaced like I’d stabbed him.
“Isn’t she,” I repeated.
Dario didn’t open his eyes, and he didn’t stop frowning… but he nodded Yes.
“You know how I know that’s the truth?” I asked.
He opened his eyes and waited for the answer.
“Because it hurt,” I said.
He gave a rueful hmph, then slugged back his scotch and returned to staring into the distance. “Do you know what our fight was about?” It was a rhetorical question, and I stayed silent so he could answer it. “She wanted to marry me p>
I raised an eyebrow. “Alessandra moves fast p>
Dario chuckled darkly, then went back to being somber. “Actually, what I said was only part of it. What she really wanted was for me to tell her I loved her p>
“From everything that’s happened since then, I assume you didn’t p>
“You would be correct,” he said sardonically.
“Why didn’t you p>
“I told Niccolo it was because there’s no place for love in what we do. Then I told him that her staying here would only endanger her further p>
“…and what’s the real reason p>
“Niccolo gave me an earful. He got most of it right, but not all of it. He said I was afraid it would make me weak if I loved her. I’ve been don for three weeks, and I’m struggling to keep my head above water. He said I’m afraid that if I make one mistake, I’ll lose everything my father and grandfather fought so hard to build… and I think it will be all my fault p>
“And is that really how you feel p>
“Partly p>
“What’s the other part? The part Niccolo didn’t get right p>
Dario finally looked over at me.
“In prison, I could have lost my life. Now that I’m free, I could lose everything my family owns – everything my brothers have entrusted me with. But as stressful as those possibilities are, they feel like…” He paused, struggling to find the words. “Like they’re outside me, if that makes any sense.
“In the short time I’ve known Alessandra, she has become everything to me. What I couldn’t tell Niccolo is that I fear my feelings for her are becoming stronger than my feelings of obligation to our family. And I know what I feel for her is far more important to me than my own life.
“It feels like if I lost her, I would lose everything. EVERYTHING. Do you know how terrifying that is? One day you’re dealing with life, the world, and all the obstacles you’re up against – and then the next day a woman comes along, and suddenly she’s the only thing that matters. The only thing that makes you happy, or could ever make you happy p>
I nodded. “I know exactly how that feels p>
He groaned. “Shit… then she really is the One p>
I half-smiled. “A little advice from a sniper p>
Dario looked over at me, waiting to hear what I would say.
“When you have the shot,” I said slowly, “take the shot p>
He frowned like he didn’t understand.
I pulled the necklace out of my shirt collar and held the diamond ring between my fingers. “This is what you told the prison clerks not to steal from my belongings. Do you remember that p>
“How could I forget?” He smiled quizzically. “You wear it around your neck p>
“Every day. As a reminder p>
“Of Rachel p>
“No. Of something else p>
I paused… then finally started speaking.
“Before I went to Lake Como, I was going to propose to her. I had the shot all lined up – but I didn’t take it. I told myself, ‘It’s not the right time. It’s not perfect. I should wait.’ So I waited… and I lost the moment forever.
“Now, maybe proposing to her wouldn’t have changed anything.
“But it might have changed EVERYTHING.
“Maybe she would have known beyond a shadow of a doubt that I hadn’t disappeared because of one stupid fight. Maybe she would have waited like you said she would… if she was the One.
“It doesn’t matter now because what’s done is done.
“But for you, the door hasn’t closed yet. You still have a chance.
“The truth is, there is no ‘right time.’ There is no perfect moment. We just tell ourselves there is because we’re afraid. Of fucking up… of losing what we have. So we wait for the perfect moment… which never comes.
“When you’re a sniper, there’s a brief instant when you have everything lined up in your sights. The shot will never be perfect – it can only be ‘good enough.’ So you shouldn’t wait for the perfect moment. You look for a moment that’s good enough.
“If you wait and the moment passes you by, you might get a second chance if you’re lucky. But you shouldn’t count on that. And you should never, ever count on it being perfect.
“When everything is good enough, you have one decision to make: ‘Do I pull the trigger p>
“And the only rule is… when you have the shot… you take the shot p>
Dario stared at me for a long moment in silence –
And then he stood up. “Let’s go p>
“Go where p>
“Back to the café p>
I smiled. “You sure you want company p>
He arched an eyebrow. “Just in case I run into trouble… I could use my enforcer p>
I nodded and smiled. “Alright – let’s do it p>
Just as I stood up, Niccolo barged into the room without knocking, his face an ashen grey.
“We have a problem,” he announced.