Chapter 197
Chapter 197
Some status symbol I was. Hell, the car we were riding in was probably treated better. It was cleaner, sleeker, and better maintained.
So what value did I truly bring?
My whole life, people had overlooked who I was and only cared about what I could do for them. In Silvermoon it had been the strength of my wolf. I wasn’t a person to them unless my wolf could manifest, and when she couldn’t, they had written me off.
My marriage to Gideon had arisen from my father trying to get rid of me.
I felt my spirit crumble at the thought that my own family hadn’t even wanted me when it turned out I wasn’t what they desired. No one did.
“You’ve been quiet p>
> I hastily wiped the tears from my eyes and turned to look at Gideon. He was regarding me with an odd
expression, and I hoped that I hadn’t made some small noise that had indicated I was deep in my distressing thoughts.
“Isn’t that what I’m here for?” I snapped, “Being seen and not heard p>
Gideon frowned at my snappish response.
“You’re here to be my Luna,” he said, as though that meant anything.
“Ah yes, the Luna. A mythical creature who does everything with no thoughts or feelings of her own p>
Gideon appeared to grow cross at my childish tone. No doubt I was disappointing him further by not giving him a pleasant, vapid response.
“ No one cares about my feelings either,” he rumbled, catching me off guard. I boggled at him, rather stupidly, not expecting that response.
“I have always been forced to choose based on the needs of the pack, not what I want personally,” there was just a trace of bitterness in his tone, “The pack needs Alpha Gideon, not Gideon the man. You have appreciated that, in the past, if I remember correctly p>
He gave me a pointed look, and I felt a hint of shame that I had also treated him as only a title. Someone who could solve my problems with a waive of his hand and the deployment of a few hundred warriors
who would die for me.
I flushed and turned back to the window.
Had I really treated Gideon as ‘just the Alpha‘? ( 1 )
I had also tried very hard to please him, to make him things I thought he enjoyed. I had listened to him talk about his painful past, and I had felt my heart bleed with his when he had recalled those memories
1/2
Chapter 197
+25 Bonus
of losing his friends and brother to his demon blood.
I had done my best to be supportive. Those efforts had been rejected, more often than not, because he had long ago stopped valuing them. It might not have seemed like much, but I had opened my heart to share his hurts.
I had tried to understand Gideon the man.
Had he tried to understand Avery, the woman?
It felt to me as though the effort had been fairly one–sided. I had been more supportive of Gideon than he had been of me. His care and interest had been sporadic at best, and often went hand–in–hand with other requirements.
‘ No ‘, I thought, ‘We are not the same p>
Gideon thought of our roles as black and white. He compartmentalized his life into neat boxes and expected everyone else to do the same as effortlessly as he. My attempts to bridge that gap were seen as extraneous and unwarranted.
But life was messy, as I had learned. I didn’t fit into anyone’s neat boxes. I would not be contained by those who only wanted to label me and disregard me.
I wanted a full life, not a segmented one.
I made up my mind. When we arrived at the Council Estate I would send my response to Reynaud. Despite the harm it might do to Gideon, it felt fitting that he learn that his callousness towards others had consequences. 1
Perhaps if Gideon had given me a different response to my question… If there had been any hint of an apology or recognition of what I had sacrificed… But no such statement had seemed forthcoming.
I had a nasty feeling that I would die before one ever arrived.
My life was too short to spend it in a pack where I would only ever be second–priority.
I would agree to give Gideon the potion. I would play the dutiful Luna, and then I would watch his downfall with relish.
It was what he deserved.
Editorial Board
Editorial Board Our editorial team works behind the scenes to refine each chapter, maintain consistency, and deliver the best reading experience.