Chapter 854
Calliope didn’t answer right away. She just looked at Silas, her eyes meeting his.
“So, what do you think?” she asked softly.
“Do you even want to?” she added, a hint of hope flickering in her gaze.
Silas held her gaze for a long moment before glancing out the window, as if searching for an answer in the rain-streaked glass. He seemed torn, wrestling with something inside.
Seeing him hesitate, Calliope felt her heart drop. Was he going to say no? Was this about that woman from his past? Did he still care about her, still see Calliope as just a stand-in?
The realization stung. The more time she spent with Silas, the deeper she fell for him. What started out as a simple favor had turned into something she depended on-his kindness, his warmth. She’d grown used to it, maybe even addicted.
Sometimes she forgot there’d ever been someone else. She’d even forgotten what people said that the last woman looked a lot like her.
Was she just a substitute after all?
A bitter disappointment settled over her. He didn’t want to have a child with her. She’d thought, with their good genes, their kid would be adorable.
“Forget it,” she said suddenly, forcing a smile. “Having a kid is pretty terrifying anyway. Raising one isn’t exactly a walk in Central Park p>
Silas looked relieved. He smiled back and reached out, gently ruffling her hair.
“Yeah, you’re right. I don’t want you taking that risk. Childbirth is dangerous, and I like things just the way they are p>
Calliope tried to smile, but it was thin and tight. Deep down, something in her had cooled.
She couldn’t help it; a wedge of doubt had crept in.
Silas broke the silence. “How’s Lance doing? Did he settle in okay after he left p>
“He’s alright,” Calliope replied, her voice quiet. “He’s been throwing himself into work. It’s the only thing that numbs him, I guess… helps him forget p>
She looked down, twisting her hands. “It’s my fault. I wasn’t enough p>
ret
“No, Callie it’s not on you.” Silas rubbed her head again, gentle and reassuring. “You did everything you could. You made sure that the end, things weren’t so bad for him p>
“Because of you, with those new meds, he got to spend more time with Hudson.
He didn’t lose all his dignity p>
He cupped her face, making her look at him.
“Callie, don’t blame yourself. Not everything is your responsibility p>
“You’re amazing. There’s nothing wrong with you p>
He looked her straight in the eye, his voice steady. “You’re strong. You’re kind.
And no matter what happens, you’re the best person I know p>
Calliope nodded, swallowing hard.
“Do you think Lance will always be this sad?” she asked.
“Do you think he’ll try to find someone else?” Silas wondered aloud.
Calliope thought about it. “He loved Hudson so much. I doubt he’ll ever look for anyone else. When you love someone that deeply, it’s hard to moveOn. Hudson told him, before he died, that he should fitad someone new. But don’t think Lance will p>
Silas squeezed her hand. “Do you think he should p>
Calliope shook her head. “I don’t think he’l ever find someone he loves that much again. There’s no one else like Hudson in the world. Lance used to play the field but when it came to Hudson… he was all in.” shovels