Chapter 19
Calhoun’s POV—
I leaned forward, elbows digging into my knees, watching every movement of Mila’s fingers as she typed. Each tap she made against the glass screen sounded like the ticking of a bomb to me. My chest was tight, my heart stuttering against my ribs like it didn’t know whether to beat or break. When she finally hit send, she locked her phone with a snap and tossed it onto the glass table.
“Happy now?” Mila asked, her voice laced with sarcasm.
“Yes,” I nodded too quickly, almost like a fucking eager pup. “Thank you, Mila p>
She rolled her eyes so hard I thought they’d disappear into her skull, then walked off toward the kitchen. But I didn’t move, couldn’t move. My eyes never left her phone sitting there, black screen staring back at me like it knew I was desperate. I kept waiting for it to light up, praying for Elodie’s name to glow across it. My shoulders began to sink the longer nothing happened. God, even an emoji. Just one little sign that she thought of me. That she hadn’t erased me.
Mila came back with popcorn and a glass of water, plopping onto the couch beside me. She eyed me once, then twice, then shook her head. “Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately p>
I frowned, snapping my head toward her. “What the hell is that supposed to mean p>
She shoved a kernel in her mouth before answering, her voice muffled but scathing. “You look like a high schooler waiting for his crush to text back. Pathetic. Honestly, I should take a picture right now and sell it to the media. ‘Alpha Calhoun is reduced to a lovesick idiot.’ They’d eat it up p>
Her laughter that followed next cut through me like knives, but I didn’t even bite back. Not tonight. I swallowed the insult, my jaw tight, eyes dragging back to the phone. The glow of the TV flickered in the background while I sat in silence, watching her chew, listening to my own heart pound like I was on a court trial.
Hours dragged by. My eyelids were heavy, but my mind wouldn’t stop clawing at me. No notification. No chime. Nothing but silence pressing in. Mila sighed and asked, “Aren’t you going home? I’ll tell you if she replies p>
“No,” I muttered, grabbing a couch pillow and pulling it to my chest like a shield. I laid back, staring at the ceiling. “I’ll stay here. Until she answers p>
Mila made a face, rolled her eyes again, and turned the TV volume up, letting me stew.
The night continued to stretch on cruelly. My body ached for sleep, but I couldn’t give in. Then finally a sound. A chime. My eyes snapped open before my brain could catch up. I lunged for the phone, faster than Mila could blink. My heart was beating like it was about to crack my ribs.
But the screen lit up with nothing more than: Subscription successfully renewed.
My heart plummeted, a heavy sourness flooding my chest. My hands shook as I shoved the phone back on the table.
“Oh for God’s sake, Calhoun!” Mila snapped, throwing her popcorn bowl down so hard kernels spilled. “Could you stop acting like a lunatic? It’s a text, not the end of the damn world! Maybe she doesn’t want to talk to you, maybe she’s asleep, maybe…oh, I don’t know, she left her phone in the bathroom! Jeez, watching you is making me lose my mind p>
I slumped back onto the sofa, my shoulders heavy, dragging my palms over my face as if that would stop the storm inside me. But it didn’t. Nothing could. Not until I heard from Elodie.
And the truth was brutal, I was now unraveling, piece by piece, waiting for a woman who might never want me back.
The second chime hit my ears so loud like a gunshot. My eyes flew open, and before Mila could even twitch, I lunged for the phone. My pulse was so damn loud in my head I could hardly hear myself breathe. But the screen was locked.
“Fuck,” I hissed under my breath, shoving the device toward Mila like a sulking child.
She gave me a glare sharp enough to cut skin. “Seriously p>
“Just open it.” My voice cracked, too eager.
She sighed dramatically, unlocked it, and the moment the screen came alive I snatched it back from her grip.
“Are you crazy?!” she shrieked, half rising off the couch.
“Shut up,” I muttered, eyes glued to the glowing words. And then I saw it. The message. From Elodie.
‘Then it’s fine. I’m going to see him for the last time p>
A strange sweetness crept into my chest, faint but maddening, like honey dissolving slowly into blood. My lips trembled, my throat tightened. For the last time. That was enough. Enough for me to claw my way back into her life.
Mila ripped the phone from my hands and peeked at the text. She caught the smile tugging my lips and rolled her eyes so hard it nearly broke her skull. “Ugh, please p>
“She’s going to see me,” I whispered, the words felt so foreign. “Elodie finally agreed to see me p>
Maybe she still loved me. Even if it was only the scraps of love left in her. I’d take it. I’d take every fucking crumb the universe was willing to give.
Mila shook her head, scrolling. “She even texted the address of the meeting spot. Now what’s your genius plan p>
But I wasn’t listening. My body was already moving. I bolted for the door. “Text it to me! I’m boarding my jet right now p>
“Ugh, love!” she groaned under her breath.
I heard it. I didn’t care.
By the time I stormed out into the night, I had my phone to my ear, choking Tristan with my voice.
The call rang three times before his groggy voice came through. “Alpha? It’s late p>
“Where the hell are you?” I barked, cutting him off.
He coughed, still half-asleep. “I booked a hotel close to the office. Couldn’t make it back to the apartment p>
“Good. Call the pilot. I want the jet fueled and ready. We fly in less than an hour p>
“Alpha wait, it’s p>
I hung up. No time for objections. My blood was screaming for her. I ran straight into the waiting car, and within minutes I was racing toward the airport.
The hum of the jet filled the silence. I sat by the window, staring into the black stretch of sky. I couldn’t sleep. Not a second. My thoughts were like a storm, ripping me apart from the inside.
Was she okay? Had she lost weight from crying over me? Was she eating well in that damn Pack that didn’t deserve her? Did she curse my name when she lay awake at night, or worse did she try to forget me?
My chest ached until I thought it would cave in. I shut my eyes and all I could see was her. Elodie at the very beginning, when Mila first brought her into our circle, introducing her as her best friend. Elodie couldn’t hide her crush. I’d seen it in her blushes when I leaned too close, the way her gaze lingered on me like I was her gravity, the endless questions about my schedule, my habits, my likes. She wore her heart on her sleeve, and I…God, I’d been too blind, too fucking obsessed with Carmela, to see her worth.
Even after I had sex with her that first time, I tried to dismiss her. Pretend it was nothing. Until she confessed. Until she said the words I wasn’t man enough to say back.
I rejected her heart but kept her body. We fucked everywhere. The office, the car, her apartment, my house, places I can’t even name without tasting her skin again. And she let me. She never asked for money. Never asked for titles or for me to claim her in public. She wasn’t like the others. She gave herself to me because she loved me.
And what did I do? I fucked it up the moment Carmela resurfaced. I threw Elodie into the fire for a ghost of the past.
When did I fall for her? Was it the nights she worked beside me until her eyes dimmed? The way she knew what I needed before I said a word? Or was it simply the way she cared for me, her emotions raw, endless, patient? I couldn’t pinpoint it. Somewhere along the line, she’d become air to me, and I didn’t even notice until I’d poisoned it.
Now I was choking on regrets.
But this time, I’d do it right. Whatever she asked, I’d give. No more shadows. No more secrets. I’d go public. Marry her. Chain myself to her until my last breath. If she wanted my soul, I’d cut it out and put it in her hands.
For the first time in years, I smiled, a small, broken smile that actually touched my eyes. I counted down the hours, the minutes, the seconds until I could see her again.
Eight excruciating hours later, the plane touched down.
And I ran. I didn’t walk, didn’t breathe. I rushed through the terminal toward the address Mila had sent, like a man with a noose around his neck, desperate for one last chance to live.