Chapter 96
“When were you going to tell us?” he shouts, his voice cracking. “After the funeral? When you fuckin died?. Was that the plan p>
I flinch and shrink back instinctively, my shoulders curling inward.
“I didn’t want to hurt you guys,” I whisper. “I didn’t want you to look at me differently. I didn’t want every conversation to turn into pity or fear p>
“Jesus Christ,” Caleb mutters. “She’s been carrying all this alone p>
Lucas grabs a fistful of his hair, pacing harder now, breathing hard. “You don’t get to protect us from this, we protrct you rather El that’s my duty as your older brother as family.”he says hoarsely. “You don’t get to decide that we’re better off not knowing p>
“I know,” I say quickly. “I know that now. But at the time it felt like… like if I said it out loud, it would become real. Like once you all knew, there would be no going back. I was scared but I know I should not have, I should have let you guys help me p>
My voice breaks, tears blurring everything.
“I was scared p>
That finally breaks Ivy.
She crosses the room in two strides and pulls me into her arms before I can react. I freeze for a second, then collapse into her, sobbing into her shoulder.
“You have to stop doing this,” she says softly, her voice shaking. “You have to stop carrying everything on your own like it’s your responsibility to protect everyone else p>
“I’m the oldest of you and Caleb atleast,” I choke out. “I’m supposed to be the strong one p>
“That doesn’t mean you carry everything on your own.,” Ivy says firmly, pulling back just enough to look at my face. Her eyes are red. “That doesn’t mean you suffer in silence p>
Lucas drops onto a chair hard, elbows on his knees, head in his hands. “Is it true?” he asks quietly, not looking up. “Are you… are you really sick p>
The room holds its breath
I nod once.
That’s all it takes.
Caleb swears again, louder this time. Lucas turns away, pressing his fist to his mouth. Noah lets out a shaky breath that sounds like it hurts.
“How bad?” Lucas asks, his voice barely there.
I hesitate, then answer honestly. “Very bad p>
Ivy tightens her grip on my hand. “We’re not a burden,” she says, her tone fierce now. “You don’t get to decide that for us. We’re your family. This is what we’re for, it’s what we do El p>
“I just wanted one thing to stay normal,” I whisper. “Just one p>
Lucas finally looks up at me, his eyes wet and furious and terrified all at once. “Nothing about this is normal,” he says. “And that’s okay. We’ll deal with it. Together p>
I nod, even though fear still claws at my chest.
“I’m sorry,” I say softly.
This time, no one tells me not to be. No one argues.
They just move closer, forming a loose, imperfect circle around me, and for the first time in a long while, I don’t feel like I’m holding everything up alone.
Zane’s POV
I don’t say a word when I get home, I don’t need to.
I walk in with him behind me, shut the door, and keep moving. Shoes on. Jacket still on. I don’t even look toward the stairs. If I do, I’ll think about her. About her face earlier. About the way she looked at me like I’d betrayed her in a way she couldn’t undo.
I don’t want to think about that right now.
“Bathroom,” I say, already walking into it.
The doctor doesn’t ask questions, that’s what he’s work entails, what he’s been paid not to. That’s the only reason he’s here. He follows me down the hall and into the bedroom. I shut the door behind us and lock it. The sound is loud in the quiet.
The bathroom light flicks on.
Almost everything in here is hers.
Her lotion on the counter. Her toothbrush leaning slightly to the left. Her stupid little jars lined up neatly like she actually believes order keeps things from falling apart.
I crouch in front of the cabinet under the sink and open it. I know exactly where she keeps them. She told me without thinking. Trusted me without meaning to.
I take out the pill organizer and stand.
“These,” I say, holding it out. “Birth control p>
He takes it from me and sets it on the counter. Opens it slowly counts it and moves the pills with the tip of his finger.
He reaches into his coat and pulls out another packet. Same size, color and same layout. If you didn’t know what you were looking for, you’d never see the difference.
“This one,” he says, tapping it, “stimulates fertility, same dosage schedule, same coatings too p>
I don’t say anything.
“She won’t notice,” he continues. “But you have to remove the pills she’s already taken. Otherwise the count will be off p>
I nod.
He slides the fertility pills into the organizer, careful and precise.
He pushes the original pills toward me.
“Dispose of these,” he says. “Flush them to match the count p>
I close my hand around them, the plastic is warm from his fingers.
“You’ll take your payment from Thomas,” I say.
He nods once then turns to leave.
When he leaves, i stand there for a moment, staring at the counter.
Then I turn to the toilet.
I open the packet and start pushing the pills out one by one. They hit the water softly. No sound worth remembering then I I flush.
Once, then again just to be sure.
I go back to the organizer and count again. I remove the exact number she’s already taken and flush those too. My jaw is tight and my chest feels wrong but I know I have to do this I need children and I need them now.
When I’m done, everything looks right
Perfect.
I put the organizer back where it belongs. Close the cabinet and stand up.
I turn off the light and walk out.