Chapter 37
Chapter 37:
Since the moment I regained consciousness, hours rolled into days, and days rolled into weeks.
Two weeks to be precise. Two solid weeks of lying in bed, watching TV, and having Sandra feed me breakfast—sometimes lunch and dinner too. During the times she wheeled me around the hospital corridors or outside to get some fresh air, I would tease her endlessly about how she cried and promised never to offend me again if I survived the surgery.
She would laugh at my taunts, poke my sides, then hug me tightly and remind me again and again how much she loves me. My colleagues also brought me flowers, Get Well cards, and chocolates during my second week in the hospital. Sandra, of course, did me the honors of devouring most of the chocolates.
Ethan spent nearly all his time here as well, though most of it was on the couch in Asher’s ward. He visited me whenever I wasn’t with Sandra, but his heart remained with Asher, watching, hoping, and praying for his friend to recover.
At the end of the first week, Asher blinked. He opened his eyes—but that was it. The doctors explained that his body wasn’t ready to accommodate full consciousness yet. He was still too weak and needed close monitoring.
Now it’s Week Two. Today is Saturday, and I sit in his ward, staring at the plateauing zigzag lines on the electrocardiogram. The heart monitor proves that his heart is still beating.
He is still alive.
Watching him lying so still, so quiet, grows harder by the day. I am awake now. Why isn’t he waking up?
I take his free hand in mine, my eyes fixed on the slow rise and fall of his chest. I would give anything to see him awake. Anything to go back to that first day when he walked into Literature class. The first time I ever saw him. The first crazy moment when I felt an instant pull toward him.
If I could return to that moment, maybe I would change everything. Maybe I would never have hidden or lied about my true feelings. Maybe I would have been brave enough to start something real with him. Maybe I would never have met Kai—or given that bastard a chance.
The memories begin to rush in, attacking me like vicious spiders.
Asher stood there, in front of everyone, dressed in a black t-shirt and a black biker jacket that clung to his tall, built frame. At the time, it felt like nothing more than simple attraction. More like a fleeting summer crush. I was so sure it wouldn’t last, that it would fade away like the other crushes I’d had on hot college guys.
But then, I started seeing him more often. At the college coffee shop. At wild Friday night parties at The Neon’s. In the library. I brushed those encounters off, labeling them as mere coincidences—after all, those were popular places for students to hang out. And Asher never struck me as a stalker. In fact, it almost felt the other way around. I couldn’t control myself from checking him out—the way the curly strands of his messy hair fell across his stunning face when he laughed, or the way his tongue flicked over his full sculpted mouth to lick off a foamy coffee stain.
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My little crush was turning into something deeper, something more—and it scared me.
It became harder not to notice him. But things changed on the day I’ll never forget. The day he asked me that bittersweet request: to be his friend.
It happened at the popular coffee shop on campus. I felt someone tap my shoulder, and when I turned, my breath caught. There he was, in a tight white t-shirt that hugged his muscled chest, stomach, and arms. That damn sexy smile was on his face again, scrambling my thoughts. He slid into the seat next to me, his carefree attitude carving out a place in my heart.
After a brief moment of awkward silence, he finally spoke—asking me to be his friend.
I swear, I wanted to say no. I knew my crush on him would only grow deeper, but then he rambled about how nice I had been to him on his first day in Literature class. He even said I could easily reject his request if I felt uncomfortable or thought he wasn’t suitable to be friends with.
I was stunned. He wanted to be my friend but also handed me a way out. I wanted to reject him, to promise myself right then and there to stay away, but with that stunning smile and those emerald-green eyes staring at me—pulling me in—I didn’t even realize my mouth had opened until I heard myself saying yes.
I hated that I said yes. But after months of hanging out, I believe that maybe, maybe, I could make it work between Asher and me as friends.
But I was wrong. I tried so hard to subdue my feelings, but I kept falling deeper. Day by day, my emotions grew stronger, fighting to break free. I did everything I could to stop myself from falling harder for Asher. I dated some great guys, had a handful of summer flings, but none of it was ever enough. They weren’t him. Theywere never Asher Kane, and that painful truth always dragged me back to square one.
And it didn’t help that Asher was such a genuinely nice person. An annoyingly nice person. He never forgot my birthdays. He was the one who helped me survive and pass Literature Class. And worst of all, he only ever saw me as his best friend.
My heart endured so much, but it couldn’t handle more than it could bear. The strings finally snapped last month when we kissed, shattering my restraints and magnifying my fears.
That kiss was everything. Everything I had ever imagined it would be if it ever happened between us. I was exhausted from fighting my feelings, and that kiss handed me release, hope, peace. But it also brought fear—fear of losing Asher. It left me confused, uncertain if he felt the same way. I was terrified of losing the coolest, most thoughtful best friend I had, and that fear made me chicken out.
I chickened out and stupidly walked straight into the worst snake trap I’ve ever experienced in my life. I thought I could trust him, even though I didn’t love him.
But he betrayed me. That bastard Kai betrayed me.
And now, Asher is the one paying the damn consequences of me falling into that snake trap.