Chapter 70
Chapter 70
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Chapter 70
Nolan POV
I’ve never willingly admitted to feeling guilty about much, east of all the way I treat Ellie, but it was nearly 5:00 p.m., and she hadn’t left her room at all today. Considering the arguments we’d been having recently, it was difficult not to blame myself for that.
I couldn’t seem to stop snapping at her ever since I found out about Felicity leaving. Ellie was right, it wasn’t her fault that the situation had escalated to this point. Felicity carried plenty of the blame as well, but that didn’t make Ellie blameless, and her pouting did nothing but remind me of why I disliked her in the first place.
Not that that was all she was doing-she seemed to be vacillating wildly between shouting at me and sobbing in her room. It didn’t make any damn sense.
And no matter how many times I asked, she wouldn’t tell me what happened at that doctor’s appointment. It had seemed so important to her as soon as she returned home, but now it was like she wanted to pretend it never happened.
I wasn’t sure if it was a moment of weakness or my curiosity getting the better of me, but I found myself carrying a plate of dinner up to Ellie’s bedroom. When I knocked on the door, I half expected her to scream at me, but instead there was a long silence before she quietly called, Come in.
It became obvious why the moment I opened the door. Her eyes were red and puffy; she was sitting in bed in her pajamas with the blanket pulled high and a pillow clenched against her chest. She had obviously been crying, and not just a little.
Something twisted in my gut that felt a lot like guilt. As much as I wanted to ignore it, I found myself approaching her, holding the plate of food out like a peace offering.
“You haven’t eaten today p>
She held the plate warily, then looked up at me. “No, I haven’t. Thank you p>
I watched as she took a small bite, chewing slowly while pretending that she didn’t feel awkward with me in her room. I sat on the edge of the bed and looked at her.
She looked miserable-more so than I’d seen her in a long time-and this didn’t feel like the drama I was used to from her. My instincts rarely led me astray, and they were telling me right now that something was significant
about this.
“Ellie, what’s going on?” I asked, deciding to be blunt about the question in the hopes that she’d stop trying to dodge.
“I just haven’t been well since the accident,” she said softly There was no heat to her words, no accusation. It sounded like she was just tired.
There was that twisting in my chest again-that guilt. I had completely dismissed her accident, but she really hadn’t been the same since. Maybe she wasn’t just being dramatic. Maybe she had really been seriously hurt.
But if that was the case, then my attitude had only made it worse. Still, I shouldn’t care. Maybe this feeling was just a reaction to the argument I’d had with Lance the other day. Maybe, on some level, I wanted to prove that he was wrong about me.
But playing nice with Ellie for one day wasn’t going to undo all of that.
“What do you mean by haven’t been well?” I asked, my voice weak.
Her eyes snapped to me, and I waited for her to tell me off again. But she didn’t. Instead, she sighed, sounding
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Chapter 70
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defeated.
“I can’t remember anything or anyone. Not really. Still not even sure I know who Rae is, and it’s so scary trying to live like this. When I interact with people, they look at me like I’m an alien, and people keep expecting me to be something that I’m not. And I don’t know if the me now is real, or if the other me was real. Does that make any sense?” she asked, her voice barely audible.
“Yes,” I replied. “It makes sense. You really lost your memory p>
“I don’t know why you don’t believe me,” she said, frustrated.
“Because you play so many head games with me. You have for years,” I replied, my own frustration leaking through. “You always exaggerate things and make a mountain out of nothing. The way that you manipulate to get my attention is maddening. I thought that you were just doing it again p>
She stared, and I stared back, the moment stretching on for an awkward length before she looked away.
“I don’t remember being like that. Were things always like this between us? Did we always fight like this?” she
asked.
I shook my head and sighed. “No, not always. We actually got along pretty well at first p>
“That’s hard to imagine,” she said with a wry smile.
“It does seem like a lifetime ago, even though it’s only been a few years,” I replied.
“But we did have good times—at least for a little while p>
“How did we even meet? I can’t remember anything. I can’t remember our
wedding she trailed off, sounding frustrated.
“We didn’t have a wedding,” I replied. “We had a very small private ceremony. It was quick, nothing elaborate p>
A look passed across her face at that-quick, too quick for me to place it. Felicity had been so upset when I told her that I’d met my fated mate. There was no way that I could have gone through with a huge, elaborate ceremony. It would have torn Felicity apart. So we’d skipped all of that. At the time, Ellie didn’t seem to mind. “We didn’t have a wedding… I guess that’s why I don’t remember,” she said softly. “And as for how we met-I was meeting with some important officials near the Rogue Zone. We stopped for drinks to continue our negotiations, and you were the waitress p>
“That seems so normal,” she said with a laugh. “That’s really it p>
I shrugged and made a non-committal sound. “Well, we fell the pull, so that’s all it took. I went home and made arrangements and a few days later you joined me here. You’ve been here ever since p>
She looked surprised by that, her eyes widening just a little. “We’re fated p>
“Yes,” I replied, keeping my voice even. “That’s why we go married. Do you really not feel it p>
She shook her head slowly and frowned. “Maybe? I’ve been so disoriented and everything has been so chaotic. Maybe I just didn’t notice p>
“Focus. Take a deep breath and you’ll feel it. I still do, every time I catch a whiff of your scent. It’s like á tingling sensation in your chest, like butterflies p>
She closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. When she looked at me again, there was a skeptical look on her face.
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“That’s it? I don’t understand. If we’re fated, then why did you reject me? Everyone’s told me how I embarrassed myself chasing after you, but it was never enough.
Why p>
I considered my answer for a long moment. I didn’t think Ellie and I had ever had a heart-to-heart like this, and considering that things between us were going to be ending so soon, part of me felt I owed her honesty.
So I answered,
“Because I resent the fact that I even have a fated mate. I don’t believe in the
goddess p>
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