Chapter 84
Chapter 84
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Even if she hadn’t liked Ellie, she should at least have understood that much. I couldn’t just let someone get away with hurting my wife. My pride as an Alpha wouldn’t allow it.
But if I was honest with myself, I knew that wasn’t the real reason I felt this way. The truth was simpler, and far worse. The people I was supposed to protect always ended up hurt because of me.
Because I couldn’t face my own emotions. Because I was too weak to handle them.
If I’d been honest with Ellie from the start, none of this would have happened. If I had told her straight that ours was a political marriage and nothing more, maybe she wouldn’t have tried so hard.
Maybe she wouldn’t have grown so desperate. If she hadn’t begged and whined and pestered me, I wouldn’t have grown to resent her. If I hadn’t let things fester, Felicity wouldn’t have grown so bitter toward her.
In the end, it was all my fault. Because I was too weak to handle the situation honestly. And now Ellie was hurt-
or worse. 1
Felicity was in our room crying. The woman who meant everything to me was weeping and screaming in rage because I couldn’t stop thinking about someone else.
But I couldn’t stop. My mind was stuck in an unending loop. My grief, anger, and desperation were feeding into one another like fuel on a flame.
I knew I should have confronted Ellie directly the moment I suspected she was pregnant. She wouldn’t have lied to my face, I was sure of it. I didn’t even fully understand why she hid it, unless she was terrified of how I might react.
And maybe she was.
The thought clawed at me. What if it was worse than that? What if she’d hidden it because she thought I might do the unthinkable?
I’d heard stories-Alphas who married a woman just to produce an heir, then took the baby away and gave it to their lover to raise. Could Ellie have thought I was capable of something that cruel?
“Why wouldn’t she? I had only ever been cold to her.
Is that why she hid it from me?
My mind was a storm of questions. I couldn’t sleep anymore-I just lay awake, staring at the ceiling, thinking about how different things could have been if I hadn’t destroyed everything.
I should have taken care of Ellie. I should have protected her as my wife. It was my responsibility-my duty as Alpha. And I failed.
Failed again and again.
Her life was miserable because of me. I not only treated her coldly, I allowed everyone around us to treat her like trash. She was constantly belittled and mocked and I acted like she was out of line for crying over it.
“I’m such a bastard,” I muttered as I paced around my office. The sound of Felicity’s crying was muffled now, but still clear enough. A reminder that I’d failed her too.
Maybe my parents had been right about me all those years ago. During those grueling hours of training, when
they told me I wasn’t ready, that I was too weak… I just kept proving them right. Proving it by messing everything
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Chapter 84
+25 Bonus
Thinking about Ellie being dead was too much. I couldn’t carry that on my conscience too. I had already caused my parents’ deaths. I had already lost our babies. I couldn’t add hers to the list.
And yet I felt it in my bones. She was alive. She had to be.
Maybe it was the mate bond. Maybe it was something else. Maybe-goddess help me-it was the Moon Goddess herself.
I froze mid-step in my pacing. Did I really just think that? Did I really credit the goddess with anything? I didn’t even believe in her. The Moon Goddess.
I must have been truly desperate if my mind was turning to religion for comfort.
But even so, I could feel Ellie somewhere out there. I knew it. No matter what
Felicity said, no matter what anyone said, no matter what logic dictated—she was alive.
And no matter how long it took, or how far I had to go… I would find her.
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