Chapter 237
Iryin’s gaze was determined as he looked at me. Against my will, I recalled the way I had involuntarily felt when we were getting divorced. This thought filled me with unease.
I was afraid . I feared everything he said would come true–at I would brainlessly love him again once I regained my memories.
I could never accept this!
My first thought once I got away from him was to have a one–night stand with a good–looking man.
I knew myself. Having been raised by Grandma, I inherited the old–fashioned views of the older generation. I didn’t love easily, but once I did, I would do so wholeheartedly.
Hence, there was no way I would get back together with Irvin if I had slept with another man. It wouldn’t matter how seriously lovesick I was, how much I wanted him back or how much I wanted to love him again–I would never be with him ever again.
Let’s say I did love him again after somehow recovering my memories. Even if he could accept that I had slept with another man, we wouldn’t be happy together. There would be a permanent thorn in our hearts that would painfully remind us of what I had done.
Besides, I would still be my current self even if I did regain my memories. This meant I wasn’t going to let my past self get what she wanted. I couldn’t accept how bad of a lovesick fool she had been. Most importantly, I couldn’t accept that Irvin would still end up happy after all the harm he had caused me!
Thus, the more I thought about all this, the more I was determined to find a hot guy to sleep with for one night.
Since I couldn’t guarantee I wouldn’t go back to being a lovesick fool after my memories returned, I was determined to destroy all possibility of us getting back together!
I had made my decision. Now, I just needed to pretend to agree with Irvin’s request so he would lower his guard. Then, I would be free to put my destructive plan into motion.
However, Irvin suddenly blurted, “Don’t you dare do what you’re thinking of, Emi. I really will lose control!”
It was as though he could read my mind or see through my thoughts.
My eyes reflexively widened from shock. How could he possibly know what I was thinking?
Irvin gently stroked my head at that moment. His touch was tender, but what he said next made my skin crawl. “I don’t know what I’ll do when that happens, babe. I believe you still know what kind of person I am even if you’ve forgotten all your memories of me. If I truly lose control, I’d rather die than let you go–and I’d take Mr. Holland, your friends, and everyone you care about with me.”
Irvin’s gaze was calm as he looked at me. However, below that calmness was a world–blazing madness.
He was overly prideful and a control freak. So, he couldn’t live with seeing me happy and only loving me from afar. It didn’t matter how much his rationale told him he didn’t have the right to demand anything from me. It also didn’t matter that he knew he should be finding ways to make me happy and see how things unfolded from
ore.
Irvin just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t even bear seeing another man stand close to me, so much so that he wanted to go mad and commit murder. He just couldn’t imagine me moving on with another man, getting married, and having children–not unless he was dead.
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+25 BONUS
I stared at Irvin and came to the same realization. I would be completely free of him unless he was dead,
As mentioned, I had always been a law–abiding citizen. However, in this moment, I was filled with murderous intent. I wanted Irvin dead! I was sickened by this messy entanglement with him and wanted to be completely free of him!
Cordelia called just then, asking where I had gone. I told her I would be back soon.
Just as I was about to leave, Irvin caressed my head again.
“You can do whatever you want, Emi,” he said. “I’ll even stay away if you don’t want to see me, but you must bear in mind what I said earlier. Okay?”
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