Chapter 400
400
“ I could no longer believe you, ” I said. “Honestly, you’re making me doubt if the person I thought I knew was the real you . ”
My words made Gideon’s face grow even paler.
But he still persisted, saying seriously, “Emi, I know that no matter what I say now, you won’t believe me. But it’s true! I truly love you!
“I only did that because I wanted to love you even better. I thought that if I carried the guilt from my mistake, I could treat you better and love you even more.”
He continued, “Really. That was what I thought! Please, believe me just this once, okay?”
I didn’t say a word and just stared at him. It stopped him from saying anything else.
In the end, he laughed bitterly.
“It’s because you don’t love me, right? If it were Irvin, you would have given him another chance. You forgave him again and again after how he treated you.
“But I only wanted to love you better, yet you’re so unforgiving. You have no idea how happy I was when you told me you wanted to marry me. You don’t know how badly I wanted to spend a lifetime with you and grow old together.“.
As he spoke, his eyes welled up with tears. As if I were the one who had betrayed his love for me.
“If Irvin had slept with another woman the night before marrying me, I wouldn’t just cancel the wedding. I would take revenge and make sure he lost everything.”
I had said before that I wished Irvin had been a complete scumbag
If he hadn’t loved me, if he had truly betrayed me and cheated on me with Julianne or some other woman, I could have let him go easily and destroyed him.
But his love for me was real, just as real as the pain he caused me. He could hurt me deeply, yet die for me without hesitation. Gideon met my eyes and knew that I was telling the truth. He also knew there was nothing else he could say.
He laughed bitterly again. “I’m sorry, Emi. I was wrong. I’m sorry.
As he spoke, he couldn’t hold it in anymore. He buried his face in his hands, sounding like he was choked with emotions. “ I just liked and desired you so much that my heart aches. I—”
The more he spoke, the more overwhelmed he became. He was unable to say more.
I couldn’t help but tug at the collar of his shirt, which still had the stain of another woman’s lipstick.
“Gideon, you don’t love me as much as you think you do. If you did, you wouldn’t be picking me up with someone else’s lipstick stain still on you. Your love was simply lust–an infatuation from your youth and a desire for something you couldn’t have.
“And just when I was within your reach, you couldn’t help but start noticing my flaws. You started thinking that you were settling by marrying a divorced woman.
“With your background, looks, and wealth, you believed you deserve someone better, which was why you felt terrible and wanted to make things ‘even‘ by your own standards. In the end, it wasn’t about loving me better. It was about believing that I wasn’t good enough for you.”
I hadn’t wanted to be so harsh, but I couldn’t accept him making it sound like I was the one who had wronged him.
Maybe he really thought he loved me, but that love was nothing but a delusion.
My words made him stop trembling, and he suddenly stiffened..