Chapter 403
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I was about to excuse myself to the chairman’s wife and leave. But then, Gideon walked over and asked her if he could speak to me alone.
Since we all lived in the same city, she might have heard some rumors. She smiled, winked teasingly at me, and walked away. That made my head spin even more.
Once she was gone, I turned to leave without waiting for Gideon to speak. I had already said everything there was to say to him, so I didn’t know what else we needed to discuss.
However, Gideon quickly stepped forward and blocked my path. “Please don’t be so quick to leave, Emi. I just want to say a few words to you just a few. I won’t take up too much of your time.”
I couldn’t cause a scene in a setting like this, so I stopped and looked at him. It had only been a few days since we last saw each other, but Gideon looked worn out. It was as if he hadn’t slept since
Gideon couldn’t help chuckling bitterly when he met my gaze. “I’m sorry, Emi. I’ve done a lot of thinking these past few days, and you were right. My way of thinking was wrong.”
He had spent the past few days reflecting. Before he had done what he did, he honestly just wanted to make a mistake. He had wanted to burden himself with the guilt so that he could force himself to love me even more. He had genuinely done so for the sake of loving me better.
When I had decisively ended things with him, this belief made him resent me. He blamed me for being too unforgiving and for not giving him even the slightest chance.
But the more he mulled it over, the more he realized his reasoning wasn’t for the sake of loving me more—it was utterly wrong. I had described his feelings toward me as shallow infatuation and as a desire that grew the more unattainable I became. However, Gideon’s feelings for me had been real. And although his feelings for me weren’t as I had described, he realized it wasn’t the kind of love he thought it had been.
Because if he had truly loved me, he wouldn’t have done something like that. He wouldn’t have felt we were on different footing He had thought too highly of himself. He wasn’t some pure–hearted, devoted hero, nor was he as good a guy as he had thought. Gideon continued, “I know you don’t need my apology, but I still feel I owe you one. I’m sorry , Emi. It was stupid of me to do what I did. I thought I truly loved you, and for the sake of loving you even more, I ended up hurting you.
“I know there’s no chance for us anymore, so I won’t tell you I like you again–I don’t even deserve to say it anymore.”
He forced a smile and held out his hand. “Can we still be friends?”
Gideon had been so close to getting what he had once desperately longed for. But in the end, not only had he not gotten it, but he had also lost that chance forever.
Truthfully, his heart ached terribly.
When he was younger, he had only caught a glimpse of me under a magnolia tree. That breathtaking image of me, who was more beautiful than the flowers, had haunted his dreams might after night.
All these years, Gideon had been happy for me when I had been. And whenever I had been suffering, he had tried to find ways to help me. His feelings for me had been genuine. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have gone so far for me.
But he really was a scumbag too. He hadn’t been able to stop himself from obsessing over something like that.
He couldn’t stop himself from thinking that if only he had been the first to have me all those years ago, then… he surely would’ve loved me for the rest of his life.
It was his inability to control his thoughts that led him to make such a foolish decision. Because of it, he had lost his only
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chance. With his own hands, he had destroyed his only opportunity of attaining the very thing he had longed for –and he really had no one to blame but himself.
I studied Gideon and could see the sincerity in his eyes. So, I smiled and took his outstretched hand. “Of course we can.”
When it came to business, it was always better to have one more ally than a lifelong enemy.
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