Chapter 103
0103
(James POV)
“I do not understand. What are you trying to say?” Lily asked.
Her voice was starting to calm down now. Good.
“After Stephanie died, I thought about you all of the time. It was distracting. In fact, I could not even stomach the idea of being intimate with other she–wolves, because every time that I even thought about
sex, I thought about you.
For a while, it got so bad that I started to wonder if I had become an f&&king pedophile. But I knew I was
not one, so I jumped to what I thought was the next logical conclusion.”
“Which was?”
“That I was thinking about you all the time because I missed and loved Stephanie, and you were my
brain’s way of reminding me about all that I had lost. Given that we have a six–year age difference
between us and given that I had always been brought up to believe that Stephanie was my mate, it never
occurred to me that it could be anything else.
I
But looking back on it…knowing what I know now… I can see it clearly now. It makes perfect sense.
thought of you all the time, and I got upset at you spending time with male wolves, not because you killed your sister but because you were my mate. The mate bond between us was already taking effect. I just
did not realize it, because it was far too early for either of us to know it yet.”
“James, I… I would like to ask you sort of an awkward question.”
I grabbed her hand.
“Go ahead, Lily. You can ask me anything. We will call this question a freebie.”
She sighed.
“I do not know if I am prepared to hear the answer to the question that I want to ask.”
“I have a guess as to what she wants to ask. Tell her to ask it anyway.”
“Luke thinks he knows what you want to ask me. He said that you should go ahead and ask.”
“I thought Luke was mad at me.”
“Eh, we are both mad at you. But we will get back to the Brady thing later. First, let’s finish this
conversation.”
She looked down. “You said that you thought of me constantly, and that every time you thought about sex, you thought about me. But I know about the arrangements that you had with Sheila and her friends. Everyone does. Did you… did you think of me when you were… having sex with them?”
“BINGO. I was right,” Luke bragged.
I let go of Lily’s hand, turned away from her, and ran my hands through my hair. I started to debate if I was really prepared to tell Lily my deepest, darkest, most embarrassing secret.
“You have to. She deserves to know. Rip the band–aid off, once and for all. It may help her to trust us
again,” Luke begged me.
I sighed.
“I never slept with a single one of them.” I said calmly.
“There, I said it,” I linked Luke.
“What?” Lily exclaimed.
“You have gone this far; you might as well tell her everything,” Luke linked.
Stupid wolf. I had to wonder if he would be this insistent if he had had the same problems I had had.
“James, what… what are you saying? How could it be that you never slept with any of them? Do you
mean literal sleep or do you mean sex?”
I took another deep breath and sat down on Lily’s bed. Instantly getting another large whiff of Brady’s scent, I jumped up and moved to one of the guest chairs.
Here went nothing.
“Let me explain.
As you know, if there is one thing that alpha wolves are known for, it is their high sex drives.
I already told you that after Stephanie died, I could not get you out of my head. I also already told you that I started to worry that I was a f&&king pedophile. I also wondered around that time if Stephanie’s death had somehow ruined me for life. Both possibilities were huge problems.
My dad already thought that I was broken, and he was questioning whether I was too weak to ever be an
alpha. Little did I know at the time that was partly a problem of my parents‘ own making, but that is a
story for a different day.
The bottom line is that I started to worry what would happen if it somehow got out that I was a virgin, or
somehow missing or defective.
She–wolves started throwing themselves at me not even a week after Stephanie died, but I got a pass for
in mourning. a while, because everyone thought I was turning down the sex because I was i
However, I knew that it could not last forever. So I did what a lot of guys do, unfortunately. I lied.
themselves at
You see, I had pretty quickly figured out that many of the she–wolves who were throwing me did not give two sh&ts about me personally. All they really cared about were the social benefits that could come from banging the alpha–heir.
Post Views: 29