Chapter 150
0150
“Promise him, Lily,” Rose linked. “Whatever this is, it is important.”
“O-okay. I promise.
(James POV)
My conversation with Lily this morning went a very different direction than I thought it would go when I asked to talk to her. In my head, I had imagined another light-hearted conversation about the weather, sports, and anything else she wanted to talk about. I also imagined that I would feel happy by the end of
the call, simply because I had gotten to hear her voice.
The moment that Lily mentioned her panic attacks and told me that she was worried about me, I knew our conversation was not going to meet my expectations. It was going to exceed them.
That sounds strange, I know.
But I appreciate that there is nothing fake or superficial about talking with Lily. She is who she is. Perfectly imperfect. Sometimes happy, sometimes sad, sometimes panicked. But always just her.
When Lily asked me at the beginning of our conversation if I was okay, it occurred to me that she might be the first wolf in my life that had ever asked me that question and actually, genuinely wanted to know
the answer.
Even after Stephanie died and wolves would ask me how I was doing or how I was coping they never REALLY wanted to know. What they really wanted was to fulfill their moral duty to ask, or to find out if I was ready to do whatever task or thing that they were interested in me doing. I cannot remember event my parents asking me how I was in a genuine way.
Now, I admit that I am feeling rather/jaded right now given recent revelations, so it is possible that my brain is tuning some of that genuine stuff out. But I really do not think so. And even if I am, I know beyond any doubt that even if someone may have cared before- they have not cared with
of heart that Lily had when she asked.
with the pureness
Because Lily’s heart is so pure, I feel an almost heightened duty to protect her. Unfortunately, as she herself likes to point out, right now that means giving her the space that she needs to heal. Even if that
means she is in that a&&hole Brady’s pack as she does so.
I
But it also means that I have to make sure that I am nothing but honest with her. I cannot risk her heart being broken through my negligence or through misunderstandings that I have caused between us.
With that in mind, I slipped in a quick reference to Sheila’s alleged pregnancy. I held my breath as I waited for her response. I was completely relieved when she seemed to take it well.
But now I had to tell her the worst part. I have no idea how she will take it. I just pray she will understand.
“West Mountain Pack is planning a wedding in two weeks. The event is scheduled to occur on
area packs will be invited, including Brady’s.”
Stephanie’s birthday. All of th
“Okay….”
I could hear the fear in her voice, and I could feel the fear in my heart. I blurted the next several
sentences as quickly as I possibly could.
“The bride and groom… are Sheila and myself. But Lily I promise that I am not going to marry that b&tch. I am going to pretend like I am going to, but I never will. Ever. I have to pretend in order to get justice.
her.” For you. For our pack. It will all work out. I promise you. Please trust me. I will not marry
Silence.
I waited.
More silence.
Finally, Lily spoke. Thank you for telling me, James. I assume that you will understand why I choose to
miss the festivities.
“Lily, I
“No, James. Stop.”
My heart was pounding. Did I make a mistake by telling her? Should I have insisted on going to Brady’s pack and telling her in person? Should I have told her in a different way?
“Lily….”
“I trust you, James. After our history, I do not think that I should. But I do.”
Oh, thank goddess.
After that, we managed to steer/our conversation back to less serious, happier subjects. I talked to her for another twenty minutes. I did not want to hang up at the end-terrified that she might have another panic attack- but she told me that she needed to go to get ready for work.
When our call ended, I felt relieved, worried, and determined.
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