Chapter 26
A stunned silence follows.
‘You’re what?’ Killian growls, his fist banging on the table.
My mother gasps, rubbing the space over her heart as the colour drains from her face. My father, in contrast, is turning an awful shade of purple as he chokes out a strangled sound beside her.
‘Is this some sort of joke?’ James demands, tossing his crisp white linen napkin down on the table. His eyes blaze black and dangerous.
‘It’s not a joke.’ I fall back into my seat before my trembling legs buckle beneath me. I drag my hands through my hair. ‘I’m fifteen weeks. The baby is due on October twentieth p>
‘Oh, thank goodness you’ll have recovered in time for the wedding,’ Avery squeals, then clamps a hand over her mouth. Killian fires his fiancée a rare glare.
‘How is this even possible?’ My father demands.
‘Well, Daddy, you’ve got six children, so I’m pretty sure you have a firm understanding of the process,’ I force a brightness that I certainly don’t feel.
I hate disappointing them.
I’m the overachiever.
Not the one to bring shame to their door—except to them—that’s what exactly what I’ve done.
‘Don’t get smart with me, child,’ my father barks.
‘I don’t mean to be smart, Dad. If I was smart, I wouldn’t be in this situation. Obviously, it came as a surprise, but I’ve had four weeks to get my head around it p>
‘You’ve known for four weeks?’ My mother cries. ‘Why didn’t you come to me? I could have helped you.’ Huge fat tears roll down her cheeks.
‘I don’t need any help. I’m doing this alone.’ My chin juts out, my tone thick with determination. ‘I’ve made my peace with it p>
‘Who is the father?’ Killian’s voice is low and lethal.
I pause for a long beat, taking in the disappointed looks from my family. ‘I don’t know,’ I whisper.
‘What the fuck, Zara?’ Caelon yells. ‘How can you not know p>
‘Are there that many possibilities?’ My father snaps, eyes narrowing. He turns to Killian. ‘I thought you kept tabs on who she dates p>
‘There’s only one possibility.’ I swallow the lump forming in my throat as the image of California’s gorgeous face forces itself to the front of my mind. ‘I had a holiday…’ The word fling almost slips out, but thankfully I realise ‘romance,’ is a better fit.
‘Tate.’ Killian yells to my bodyguard, who is lurking somewhere outside the door. ‘You’re fucking fired p>
‘Don’t, Killian, please, it’s not his fault,’ I beg.
‘Well, it wouldn’t have happened on my fucking watch.’ His face contours in hard, angry lines. ‘So, tell us all about this “holiday romance” of yours.’ Sarcasm drips from his tone, and it does something to me, deep inside my soul.
He’s such a hypocrite. He had his own holiday romance while he was supposed to be protecting Avery. It’s okay for my brothers to have consensual sex, but not for me.
I’m so fucking sick of being babied by my entire family.
So fucking sick of being treated like a child.
I’m twenty-two years old.
A grown woman.
A successful businesswoman.
Yes, this is a curveball I didn’t expect, but I am dealing with it—my way.
I’ll be the best damn mother that ever was, because pregnant or not, I’m still an overachiever and I will make sure my baby will want for nothing.
If I don’t stand up for myself right now, they’ll be babying me when I’m forty-two.
‘Who is he?’ James asks cooly.
‘Where’s he from?’ Caelon chips in.
‘What does he do?’ Killian adds. ‘Where does he live p>
A rush of rage surges through my blood like molten lava.
‘None of your goddamn business, boys.’ I stand again, my hand automatically palming my stomach. ‘Yes, I fucked up.’ My mother inhales sharply, but I’m on a roll now. ‘I got pregnant by accident, by an American I only know as California. We spent ten glorious days in Punta Cana together, and I don’t regret a single one of them.’ Killian’s expression is positively murderous, but I refuse to be deterred. ‘We agreed not to stay in touch. I don’t have time in my life for a boyfriend, and quite frankly, it’s fucking bad enough having to answer to you lot already, without adding another man into the mix. It’s true, I don’t know a thing about him in the real world, but I do know that he’s a decent man, a kind man, a hardworking man, and a man, who if I had any way of contacting him, I would p>
‘I have no problem hunting him down for you,’ Killian growls.
‘I don’t want you to. I’m doing this my way.’ I place my hand on my hip, and meet my family’s gaze one by one, watching as the finality of the situation sinks in.
‘Congratulations.’ Scarlett is the first to stand. She rounds the table and wraps her arms around me. ‘You’re going to make one hell of a Mama Bear.’ Her silver eyes sparkle with genuine joy.
The rest of my sisters-in-law get up, one by one, and hug me. My parents remain seated, staring at each other like they’re trying to work out where they went so wrong. Rian and Sean rise next, both of them sauntering over sheepishly.
Sean rubs my bicep while Rian drops a kiss to my cheek. ‘You’re not doing this alone, sis.’ His earnest eyes bore into mine. ‘You’ve got us.’ His kindness makes me want to cry, but I point blank refuse to reveal any sign of weakness.
‘It’s going to take me a while to get my head around this.’ My father finally stands, my mother flanking his side. While his embrace isn’t exactly warm, his tone is weighted with a begrudging respect.
‘We’ll help you, darling,’ my mother coos. ‘Of course we will. It’s just such a shock.’ I try not to gag on her Chanel perfume.
‘Believe me, it was a shock for me too.’ I sigh, eyeing James, Killian and Caelon across the table.
Finally, one by one they reluctantly round the room to hug me.
‘I’m going to hunt the bastard down.’ Killian presses a kiss to my temple.
‘I told you, I’m doing this alone.’ I squeeze his arm.
‘Oh, there’s no disputing that.’ His nostrils flare. ‘I’m going to hunt him down and murder him for putting you in this situation, but not before I tear his limbs off one by one, starting with his dick p>
Avery rolls her eyes. ‘Don’t be so dramatic, darling,’ she cups his face, and he instantly softens towards her. ‘Zara will never see her baby daddy again, while we’re getting another baby Beckett to add to the family. It would be much worse if California turned up in Dublin, demanding to be a part of the baby’s life p>
‘Your sister is a woman,’ Ivy adds. ‘Let her do what we do best—raise strong children p>
‘I don’t know how I didn’t see it.’ My mother leans in, studying my face, then my stomach. ‘You haven’t made the spa the past couple of months p>
For years we had a Friday afternoon spa date at Eden, with whichever of the Beckett women were free. ‘Apart from the fact I was terrified of being seen in a bikini with these gigantic boobs, I’m not allowed in the hot tub.’ I shrug.
My family slowly return to their seats, exchanging “who would have guessed” glances. It’s going to take a while for them to process, and I don’t need to be here while they do.
‘I’m beat. I’m going home.’ I bid them all goodbye and head out to the hallway. My mother escorts me, while my father offers the rest of the family a whiskey. If I wasn’t pregnant, I’d take one myself.
At the doorway, I turn to my mother. ‘Thank you for dinner; it was wonderful p>
She holds me tight against her chest. ‘Don’t thank me. You know well I didn’t cook it.’ Christmas Day is the only day of the year that my mother cooks. Between us, we have enough staff to form an army. Let’s hope we don’t need one.
‘I’m so worried about you.’ She admits in a hushed tone, patting my hair like I’m a child.
‘Don’t be. I’m fine. I promise. Fine, but busy. Work is crazy. The boys are on my back about the Cannes development. I’ll probably have to fly out there in a couple of weeks. And I have a Yank harassing me—well Nico mostly p>
I’ve yet to tell them I’ve accepted the Hartmann Hotel project.
Maybe it’ll at least distract them from the fact I’m knocked up.
Doubtful—but you never know.
‘I have his hotel booked in for June, but he’s fighting to push our meeting forwards. And then I’m expected in Galway next week for the Irish Business Woman of the Year event p>
‘I hate to say it, honey, but you look wrecked.’ She tuts sympathetically.
‘Yeah, I’m still waiting for the “glowing stage” to kick in. Maybe it’ll miraculously happen before the award ceremony. But thanks,’ I say, forcing a laugh.
‘You know what I mean,’ she says, squeezing my arm. ‘Just take care of yourself. You and my grandchild.’ Her gaze falls to my stomach.
Tate appears in the doorway. ‘So, am I sacked p>
‘You’d never be that lucky,’ I retort, placing a hand on my stomach again. ‘I take it you heard p>
‘Yep.’ His gaze tracks the movement of my hand. ‘Congratulations p>
‘Now you’ve got double trouble to look out for.’ I follow him to the SUV.
‘California,’ he mutters quietly.
‘Who else?’ Felstead is in the driver’s seat of an SUV outside the door.
‘Call me tomorrow, darling.’ My mother calls, waving from the doorway.
‘Will do,’ I promise.
When I finally get home, back to the huge apartment I bought two years ago, I immediately head to my bedroom, curl up on the soft cotton sheets and burst into tears.
Because despite my bravado in front of my family earlier, I’m terrified of fucking up. Well, fucking up even more than I already have.
I have no idea how to be a parent—much less a single parent.