Chapter 18
Kyrell’s POV
I walked through the huge hallway as I made my way to Lady Natalia’s chambers.
I took steady and unhurried strides that only spelt grace. The maids and servants alike all bowed their heads as I walked past them but I am too buried in my own thoughts to give any notice to them. I arrived minutes later and entered her chambers after being let in by the guards who were positioned at the door.
“My Lord.” she spoke up with a hoarse voice and bowed her head the minute I graced her with his presence. Her voice was weak and fragile.
“Save your strength, My Lady.” I told her softly but my facial features were still the same.
I stared at Natalia a little longer than intended. She looked tired, thin and her skin had turned pale. This was probably the first time I had taken a good look at her since we first married.
“How are you feeling now p>
“I would’ve been dead meat if I was a mere mortal.” She gave a sad smile. “My wolf is keeping me strong but I know that she too is tired. I can feel how agitated and weak she has become inside me p>
I didn’t know how to respond to that because even I know that it is the truth. I could tell just by looking at her that she is almost on the verge of death. It is only a matter of time now. Her floral scent has changed completely. I can only smell death which meant that her life-force was gradually fading.
“I am honored that you have graced me with your presence in my last days. I will forever be grateful to you.” she coughed and I signaled a maid to tend to her.
“We did not marry under the proper circumstances Lady Natalia and we both know that you are not my mate as well but you are my wife by tradition so it’s only befitting.” I respond, eyes staring intently at her.
She gave a low chuckle. “Thank you, Kyrell p>
“I’ll make sure that the royal physician checks up on you regularly p>
“That won’t be necessary, My Lord.” She interrupted sharply “Can I ask you for a favor instead p>
There was a brief pause. And then “You may p>
“I want to see the beautiful flower beds one last time. Will you go for a stroll with me on the fields?” she requests, her eyes staring at me, hopeful for a positive reply and not one to turn her down.
I know that it has taken her a lot of courage to ask for something like that from me. Normally, she knew that she shouldn’t ask a King for such favour unless he requests it but she is already dying and what more do I have to lose anyways?
“As you wish, My Lady p>
A small smile played on her lips, “I will get ready and meet you outside p>
With that, I exit her bed chambers. On my way out, I overheard her telling the maid to grant her one final wish of making her beautiful again for the last time.
NATALIA’S POV
My maids dresses me up in a long, blue flowing silk and styled my hair. They also applied minimal makeup on my face and helped me with my shoes as well.
“Now I look like someone who’ll die happily today.” I sighed, fighting back the tears that were threatening to fall before joining Kyrell outside.
I saw Anya, his sex slave at a distance with a scowl on her face but I couldn’t care less. She has always been envious of my status and position as his wife but what she doesn’t know is that this position was a cage that came with a lot of burden for me.
I would’ve even given it up in a heartbeat if I had the chance to.
“The flowers are looking beautiful this time of the season,” I said with a faux smile on my face. My smile was saying a lot of things that my mouth cannot say.
Kyrell’s face tightens at my words. “Indeed they are p>
I know that he doesn’t want to be out here but he has no other choice than to honour my wish. He knows that I might give up anytime soon because he can smell the scent of death around me and it is persistent.
My hurting eyes turned to look at the Lycan King whose face was devoid of any emotions whatsoever. “I am sorry, My Lord. I am sorry that I couldn’t produce an heir for you. I am sorry that I was utterly useless and a failure as a wife to you p>
Kyrell was taken aback by my statement. I’m certain that he wasn’t expecting that sort of outburst from me.
“I do not want you to feel sorry for me or for yourself, Natalia.” He spoke after minutes of silence.
“It is not your fault or your failing. I do not need a child neither do I desire one. If I wanted to father an heir then I would’ve done so a long time ago but I am simply uninterested. That decision is entirely mine and has nothing to do with you.” He added.
I looked at the face of the man that has walked through flames and a fiery furnace. He is bruised, broken and battered but doesn’t even realize it to that extent.
When I first got married to him, I had thought that he was arrogant, ruthless and filled with prideful hatred but Kyrell was far from it. He has a kind heart hidden somewhere but his past is hindering him from becoming a truly happy man.
I have heard stories about what he went through as a child. I knew to an extent how much he has suffered and the reason why he despises women or the thought of fathering a child.
I knew the anger behind every frown. He never smiles. He doesn’t laugh and he doesn’t socialize. The only friend that he has is his Beta, Declan and sometimes, I wonder how they ended up becoming friends because Kyrell also lashes out on him as well.
Although we haven’t been intimate since the I arrived at the Zivando’s household but Kyrell still gave me my proper rights as his wife. He never touched me, not once. He only sleeps with one person and that is Anya because she is his sex slave and he can do whatever he wanted with her.
Not that I was complaining but I just wanted him to find happiness. I want him to experience love. The raw kind even though it is not with me.
My heart bleeds for him each time I see him but not out of love, it is only because I care for him. Marriage bond or not, we are still husband and wife after all.
“Is that why you never touched me p>
“That is essentially why I never wanted to get married to you in the first place too, Natalia. I didn’t want you wishing or hoping for things that will never be. Things that will never happen. Things that are nothing but mere impossible fantasies.” He blurted out coldly.
“I will pray to the goddess on your behalf Kyrell. That one day, you’ll find a reason to smile.” I gave him a faux smile. My tired legs gave way at that moment but Kyrell caught me just in time before I made any contact to the ground.
It was finally time. I could feel my entire body closing down on me.
“Call the physician!” He yelled at the guards who has been standing watch a few metres away from us.
“Do not bother, My Lord.” I took in a sharp breath.
“I have lived long enough. The physician cannot save me now. I am happy that I got to see the fields for the last time with you and I am eternally…grateful that I am going to die in the arms of a good man like you. Thank you, for everything.” I whispered in short pants.
Just then, my eyes rolled to the back of my head and snapped shut, permanently.