Chapter 198
Chapter 198
Avery’s POV
My mind was made up. I would send Reynaud my message, accepting his offer. I felt resolute in my decision – excited even.
It was as though the possibility of a change opened up a new horizon before me. My life in Nightwolf under Gideon’s rule had been full of endless uncertainty. True, switching to Reynaud’s pack involved a fair amount of unknown variables, but just the concept of a new situation felt like a breath of fresh air.
Unfortunately, it did not alleviate the tension between Gideon and I in the slightest. Someone had said that hate and love were two sides of the same coin, except in my case it was ‘longing to be noticed‘ and ‘ longing to no longer notice him p>
It felt like as the day’s journey wore on, I just became increasingly attuned to Gideon. His every movement, breath, gesture, they all captured my attention and distracted me from every attempt to settle my thoughts.
Was it because I hadn’t socialized with anyone in a long time that I was so hyper–aware of his presence near me? Had I become truly feral in my isolation?
We pulled into the large semi–circular drive of the Council Estate, and Gideon pulled open my door and held out a hand for me to disembark. I stepped out into the late afternoon sunshine and stared up at the massive buildings, their glass–paned windows reflected red and orange light back to me, as though there was an inferno raging behind their walls.
There was an inferno raging within me as well. So much so that I wondered if Gideon could feel the heat radiating through my gloves as he tucked my hand over his arm and escorted me up to where the doormen opened the doors into the formal ballroom foyer. He felt so solid beneath my fingertips, while I felt as though I would burn up at any moment and float away, so much ash on the breeze.
The last time I had walked through these doors had been when we had stayed here during the Alpha Ball. We would be staying in the same assigned rooms, but the last time I had stayed there I had been subjected to Dierdra and Zara’s attempts to undermine me socially.
It was also the last time I had seen my mystery lover in my bed. Was that the person who was gently leading me up these stairs, or was it the man I was going to be sending my acceptance note to later?
Or was it a mysterious, third option?
Although Gideon had been the man who had appeared from my washroom the morning after, I still held my doubts that it had really been him. He had never acknowledged the connection, or betrayed any sign that he had been the man who had claimed my body so skillfully.
I was still young, physically. I had waited to have sex until my first Full Mating Moon with Ryan, the current Alpha of Silvermoon, and then I had caught him in bed with my half –sister, Zara, instead. That night I had entered heat for the first time and slept with a man in a haze of passion.
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Chapter 198
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I had snuck away in the early morning darkness and never seen his face.
Since that time, I had only had sex one other time. I was hardly experienced in the act, and there was a surge of concern within me that every time I had a sexual encounter, I had ended up regretting it.
Not the pleasure it brought, no, that was intense and not regrettable. I may have had a somewhat unconventional initiation into the art of pleasure, but my turmoil came from the aftermath. The mornings when I tried to remember what had happened, and who it had happened with.
Being back here in these marble hallways brought those memories back vividly. The small flashes of detail that rose to the surface as I re–entered the room where it had happened. The familiar scent of the lemon–oil on the wooden floors, the soft texture of the sheets on the bed…
The scent memories were stronger than my real ones, and the flashbacks hit so strongly that I closed my eyes and rocked back on my heels. I could still feel the man’s hands, gripping my hips, so strong and sure as he caressed my body… The scratch of the stubble on his cheeks against my inner thighs p>
I bit my lips against the moan that threatened to rise from my lungs. I needed out of this room, to get some fresh air. And I needed to send Reynaud his response…
That completed, I went for a long walk through the halls and gardens of the Council Estate to put some distance between myself and that delectable, distracting parade of memories.
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