Chapter 93
A R I A N A
The next day after sarah helped me drop the kids off at school she came over I had not slept all night my eyes were red and puffy.
I felt like a ghost.
“I don’t know what to do Sarah,” I whispered my voice rough from crying. “I don’t know how to tell the kids. What do I even say? ’The man who helped with your homework is your dad’? How will they take that news? Will they be happy? Will they be angry with me for lying p>
I put my head in my hands. “And Dante… I look at him and… I still love him and if I’m being honest I never stopped loving him I want to be with him I want him to be there for the kids I want to wake up and not be so scared all the time p>
“Then let him Ari” Sarah said softly. “That sounds like the answer p>
“But I can’t!” I said looking up at her my eyes wide with fear. “You don’t understand. My father… I made an agreement with him. When I left Dante, when I took those papers… my father said I could never go back I had to disappear. He said if I ever returned to Dante if Dante ever found out about me or the Asher he would end Me”
I shivered remembering the cold look in my father’s eyes. “He meant it Sarah. He always mean what he says… my father is—-” I gulped down a lump
Sarah reached out and held my hand. “Ariana Listen to me your father is in jail and you know that he is locked away. What can he do from a prison cell p>
“You don’t know how dangerous he is!” I insisted, my voice shaking. “He has connections and people on the outside who owe him favors. He could still hurt me or the children or hurt Dante I can’t risk it, I can’t p>
“Okay,” Sarah said her voice calm. “But let’s think about this. Dante is not a weak man he is powerful too, he has his own money his own security, his own connections. Do you really think your father from his jail cell is stronger than Dante Russo right now? Dante could probably protect you better than anyone p>
I hadn’t thought of it that way.
I was so used to being afraid of my father I forgot how strong Dante was.
But then my I’ve always feared my father, he is heartless and selfish man that could go to any extent to get what he wants.
“All these years,” Sarah continued squeezing my hand, “you have been so brave and strong, you have protected those kids all by yourself and if I am being honest you’re one of the strongest person I know and you don’t have to fight alone anymore. There is a man who wants to fight for you, a man who is the father of your children and a man you are still in love with p>
She looked me right in the eyes. “You need to put yourself together Ari for your kids and for yourself. This fear is keeping you from being happy It is keeping your children from their father and you need to let him in… let him be there for you. You deserve to be happy, you all do p>
I listened to her words.
They made sense they were logical but my fear was not logical It was a deep cold feeling in my stomach.
I thought about Dante’s expression yesterday.
The pain.
The hope.
It will break him if I deny him of his right but he could use his power to take them away from me but he didn’t, he let me decide and for that he deserves much more from me.
I was so tired of fighting all alone, I was so tired of being the one who had to make all the hard choices.
I took a deep shaky breath and looked Sarah in the eye.
“Okay,” I whispered the word was so soft I barely heard it myself.
“Okay?” Sarah asked leaning forward.
I nodded a little stronger this time. “Okay. You’re right. I… I need to try I can’t live like this anymore. I’m going to let him in Sarah… I will do that”