Chapter 94
A R I A N A
Later that day I had mustered up enough courage and sanity to speak with the kids about their father.
We were all currently in the living room with Asher was drawing, Isabella was reading as usual and then Sophia was playing with her dolls.
My heart was beating very fast but then I knew I had to talk to them and I had to tell them the truth, the earlier I do the better it is for all of us
I sat down on the floor with them as I took a deep breath.
“Kids,” I said. “Can we talk for a minute p>
They all looked up at me telling my voice was serious.
“Is everything okay Mummy?” Asher asked his big eyes worried.
“Yes, baby everything is okay.” I tried to smile. “I wanted to talk to you about Mr. Dante the man who was here yesterday p>
Sophia’s face lit up. “The homework man! Is he coming back? He said he would help me finish p>
“Yes honey he might come back,” I said. “But I wanted to ask you… what do you think about him p>
I looked at their faces one by one.
Isabella spoke first.
She always did. “He is tall and looks very very strong mummy… he’s smart since he help Sophia with math without getting upset if she did not understand. I think he is nice p>
“He helped with my hospital bills,” Asher added quietly. “He helped us mummy”
“I like him!” Sophia announced. “He smells good and he promised he would stay p>
My heart felt a little warmer this was a good start.
“That’s good,” I said. I swallowed the lump in my throat. This was the hard part. “How would you feel… what would you think… if he was your father p>
The room was silent for a moment.
Sophia tilted her head. “You mean like a daddy p>
“Yes sweetie like a daddy p>
Sophia shrugged. “Okay p>
I looked at Isabella.
She was thinking hard before a smile tugged in her lips. “He could take me out and get me books,” she said finally. “And I also think looks like Asher around the eyes p>
Then I looked at Asher.
He was quiet.
He was looking down at his drawing.
“Asher?” I asked softly. “What do you think p>
He looked up at me his eyes were so wise for his age.
“If he is our father,” he said slowly carefully. “If yes why has he not been here p>
The question felt like a punch to my heart this was the question I was most afraid of.
I reached out and held his small hand.
“That… is a very good question,” I said, choosing my words with care. “You know Asher, things were not going well between me and your father. There were… big problems grown-up problems It was not safe for us to be together, so we had to be apart for a very long time p>
I looked at all three of them. “But it was never because he didn’t want you he didn’t know about you and it was my fault I was so scared and I made a mistake by not telling him and now that he knows about you guys, he wants to be here more than anything in the world p>
Asher listened his little face serious as I squeezed his hand. “So he’s back now? And wants to be our father p>
“Yes my love,” I said my voice thick with tears. “He’s back now and he is going to be here for you for all of you, he wants to be your daddy very much p>
A huge smile spread across Sophia’s face as she jumped to her feet.
“I’m going to have a Daddy!” she yelled jumping up and down. “A real one. Now Jessica and Lily at school can’t say anything! They always say I don’t have a dad and I have to make one up for stories but I have a real one! He’s tall and he helps with homework p>
Her joy was so pure so loud.
It filled the whole room.
Isabella allowed a small smile. “It will be… interesting to have a daddy,” she said in her formal way. “There is much he will need to learn about books to get on my side”
I laughed.
Such a nerd.
Asher got up and came to hug me, he buried his face in my shoulder.
“I’m glad he’s back mummy,” he whispered. “And I’m glad we’re not alone anymore p>
I held him tight as a lone tear slipped from my face.
They were okay they were more than okay.
They were happy.
The weight I had been carrying for years felt a little lighter.
The fear was still there whispering in the back of my mind but in that moment I was surrounded by my children’s acceptance and love nothing else mattered.
After I put the kids to bed I decided to call Dante and let him know if it was okay he dropped by tomorrow so we could talk and I could break the good news to him.
I held my phone in my hand as my fingers shook as I found Dante’s name.
I pressed the call button.
It rang.
Once.
My throat felt tight.
What was I doing? Was this the right to call? What if he changed his mind and didn’t want us anymore?
Twice.
Maybe he would not answer maybe this was a sign I should stop.
Then the ringing stopped and there was a quiet click.
Silence.
He was there.
I could hear him breathing on the other end but he did not speak.
He was waiting for me.
My own breath was stuck in my chest as I could not form a single word.
Finally after a long silence his voice came through the phone.
It was low and careful.
“Ariana p>
Just my name.
It sounded so different in his voice now.
I squeezed my eyes shut.
You can do this!
Just tell him and cut the call.
“Hi,” I whispered my voice was so small.
“Hi,” he said back he did not rush me.
He just waited.
I took a deep shaky breath. “The kids… they had a lot of questions after you left p>
“I see,” he said I could hear the worry in his voice. “How… how are they p>
“They’re okay,” I said. “They… they like you p>
I heard him let out a soft breath like he had been holding it. “That is good to hear p>
Another silence fell between us It was not a bad silence.
It was full of things we were not saying.
“I was thinking I started, my voice a little stronger. “If it is okay with you… maybe you could come by tomorrow? To see them. To… to talk p>
I held my breath waiting for his answer.
“Yes,” he said immediately. There was no hesitation. “Yes of course, any time… Whatever time is good for you p>
“After school?” I asked. “Around four p>
“I will be there,” he said. “Thank you Ariana p>
“Okay,” I whispered. “Goodnight Dante p>
“Goodnight Ariana,” he said, his voice soft. “Sleep well p>