Chapter 119
I Am The Luna by Moonlight Muse 119
An Exchange
SEBASTIAN.
All I see is the look in her eyes as she raised the gun and shot me.
I’ve lost her.
She will never forgive me, and why should she?
I brought this on myself…
The same thoughts circle my mind, slamming me with the brutal truth of what I have done.
Spinning, screaming, and shouting as they whirl around my head; and there’s nothing I can do but
accept it.
I was close to death after she shot me, but Gerard refused to let me die, although both Gaultier and
Zade didn’t mind if I did.
All I remember was Gerard saying he would not let me die and if anything happened, they would all
suffer the consequences.
I now stare out at the moon through the skylight. Night has fallen, but it’s just another painful day gone.
Another day that I am haunted by the memories of the Alpha Queen shooting me without any
hesitation.
I deserved that.
There was a moment she was shocked… but it was just a secondary reaction. She didn’t turn back as
she left the room, but I shouldn’t be expecting anything, anyway. When the one who pushed her to this
was none other than me.
How many times have I betrayed her trust? Far too many times.
I know that… but then why do I sit here thinking of her day and night? With every day that passed I
realised that, that I don’t think I could live without her. Which doesn’t matter anyway, this isn’t about
me…
The guilt of every fucking stupid decision I’ve made, the regret of every fucking time I’ve caused her
pain, claws at me. Ripping me apart with guilt and regret from the inside.
She deserves so much fucking better. Yet I know that she loved me, and I destroyed her faith in me
repeatedly. I can feel my wolf’s agony inside of me, his anguish at the fact I do not have her nearby. 1
I don’t deserve her, not anymore… she was too good for me from the start… and although I thought I
did good, all I did was fucking hurt her.
I’ll never forget the way her lavender eyes were full of pain.
My head drops as I feel the stinging in my eyes as my vision blurs.
Why did I always fuck up even when all I want is the best for those I love?
“What is going on?!” Gaultier’s distant snarl makes me look towards the doors. Something must have
happened…
I stand up, silently making my way to the door and open it. They’re probably watching me in this room,
anyway.
I try to be careful, but I also know they will never fully trust me, regardless. Gaultier slams his fist into
the wall as Zade growls at him.
“Calm the fuck down. We can’t let…” he trails off when he sees me.
“We can’t what?” I ask, walking over to them, and shoving my hands into the pockets of my pants.
“You don’t need to fucking know. Aren’t you meant to be resting?” he says sarcastically.
“I’m healed,” I reply coldly, although due to the poison in the bullet, I am still not fully recovered, but I
am getting there.
“Good, so fuck off.” Gaultier snarls.
“Alright, I’ll just go ask Gerard what the fuck is going on,” I shoot back coldly, about to turn away when
Zade grabs my forearm.
“Hey… listen, this doesn’t involve you,” Zade warns.
“Or it does. Don’t you think it’s strangely fucking coincidental that now of all fucking times they figured
out the cameras?” He spits, now looking at me accusingly.
I don’t react, cocking a brow. “Cameras? What are we talking about?”
So, they understood the message. Excellent.
This will help them get a step ahead instead of being spied on all the damn time. 1
“The cameras in your shitty pack!” Gaultier snarls about to shove me when Zade intercepts.
him.
“Hey… man, calm the fuck down.” He warns him and I’m doing my fucking all to stop myself from
bashing his fucking face in.
That’s when I hear it, the extremely silent footsteps of Lawrence. He was freaking silent, even more
than me, able to mask his scent and heartbeat efficiently and I don’t think he even realises I can sense
him and that is something I don’t plan to let on.
“I would listen to him, and have any of you notified Gerard of this? It’s no small matter. If something has
happened with the cameras, then we need to let him know.”
Not that they can do anything.
Lawrence has stopped, he’s listening.
“Oh yeah? What are we going to tell him? That somehow, they found out?” Gaultier asks coldly.
“Wait… do you think they’ve discovered them?” Zade says suddenly.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“Fuck. I mean our people in that pack. Maybe we do need to tell Gerard and Father right now,” Zade
says suddenly.
“Not maybe, we do,” I say, just as Lawrence begins moving again.
“Sebastian is right, there is no maybe to it.” hist voice comes from to the left, making both men tense as
he steps into the light.
“Yes, of course…” Zade says, lowering his head.
“Now what’s happened?” he asks them coldly.
You got this, Zaia… destroy them.
“They have possibly discovered Ms Agatha. All the cameras have been pulled.” Zade says, making my
blood run cold.
Agatha?
I look up sharply, my heart thudding as I stare at him.
Mom?
No, it must be some other….
My mind is spinning as Lawrence sighs heavily.
“Gaultier, go to the borders of the pack. See if you can mind link her.” He commands, and he nods
before he walks off.
“What do you mean mind link her, and is this my mother?” I ask. The words are like poison in my
mouth.
Lawrence looks at me.
“Yes, she is and Gaultier’s so he can mind link her as they are family.” He says, almost as if wanting to
see how I react to it.
What?
“Is that a surprise to you, Sebastian?” Lawrence asks keenly.
I shake my head, although her betrayal feels like a punch in the gut. “No, I mean- yes, about Gaultier,
but Mom belongs on our side. She’s always been my greatest cheerleader, to know that even now I am
making her proud feels…
good.”
No, it fucking doesn’t. How could she do this? Everything was a fucking lie…
My mind is a fucking storm as I try to keep myself together.
Zaia let her near the children. She’s been in the safe house. My stomach churns and it’s taking my all
not to react. I fucking pray she has been. caught. I can’t risk her near the children or around Zaia.
“It’s all for a good cause,” Lawrence says as he walks over to me and places his hands on my shoulder.
“Now. How about the two of us have a little chat…” 1
“Sure,” I say. “I do have a question. If Mom is captured, then what? Will she be safe?”
He smiles.
“As safe as Gaspard’s woman is. Your woman may have shot you, but I don’t think she will kill your
mother,” he smiles.
“She isn’t my woman.” I correct him and I fucking mean it because I don’t fucking deserve her. The
memory of her touch, her body against mine, the feel of her lips… her scent…
No, I don’t deserve her.
His smile only widens as he pats my back, a move that irks me deeply.
“Well, regardless, she is the mother of your children, and you must respect her, right?”
“We are on opposite sides, and we are nothing to one another,” I reassure him.
“Well… I hope you can see that here. We have a goal that is right, the true way… And you have proven
yourself, Sebastian. I think with the
approaching battle, I have no doubt of what you are capable of and that you will lead our people
diligently.”
I listen as we walk down the endless dark tunnels of this place.
“Ah, Gerard did tell me about the antidote you wanted for your daughter, and I can understand that.
She suffered… unnecessarily.” He says, smiling at me. There’s no remorse and obviously, there
wouldn’t be. He doesn’t give a fuck.
The temptation to rip him to shreds right here consumes me, but instead, with every ounce of willpower
I have, I simply nod.
“She is a child, and I am certain I will have my children on my side when the battle is over. We will
teach them what is right and our ways.”
“Children…” he nods. “Hmm, what if we take them from her sooner? I mean, we can give your daughter
the antidote ourselves. Besides, if they’re here, we’ll be able to make sure they are not harmed when
the battle occurs.”
No. Fuck no.
“And if we are unable to bring them here? Then what? I mean, Zaia has kept them locked away and my
daughter is getting worse.”
“Yes, we saw that, but I was curious about one thing before you left the pack, Sebastian. I saw you go
to all the security centres, even the prison facility… why? I don’t want to be
accusing you, but when we had you, try to hack into those you were locked out. I’m assuming Zaia did
that, but…. Are you sure it was not you?”
He is quick-witted and this time I’m unable to stop the thump of my heartbeat. That is exactly what I
had done…
“I feel insulted,” I say coldly, in an attempt to cover up my emotions.
“Is it not why you went to those places?” he asks, his obvious accusation barely hidden, and I now look
him dead in the eye.
“No, in fact, I went to get us some intel,” I say coldly. I feel fucking relieved I had thought of a reason in
case the enemy saw what I did before leaving.
“He is correct, Lawrence. Let him off.” Gerard says as he walks over to us. “He got us some blueprints
and information on the pack, as well as some very important statistics about their number of assault
and defence power. Guards, warriors, and security.”
Lawrence nods slowly. “Then forgive me. I have just learned to be extremely careful. I do not trust
easily.”
“No need. I understand where you are coming from. It’s good to be on the safe side.” I reply with a
small, brisk smile.
Gerard chuckles. “Yes.. well, I think we can give him the promised antidote, don’t you think,
Lawrence?”
“Is it safe? I mean, that was his incentive to join us, wasn’t it?” The older man says keenly.
He has no heart; he wasn’t fazed about Melanie’s death, and he wouldn’t care if anything happened to
my little Sia.
“I can assure you, my loyalty lies here, but I do care for my children,” I say.
They look up a little too quickly for my liking, and it makes me uneasy.
“Of course, we all care for our children,” Lawrence says, increasing the feeling of foreboding I’m getting
because he didn’t care when he learned his daughter was dead.
“I will give you the antidote, Sebastian, for little Sia but in return… We need proof that you are ready to
go to any extent to win this battle for us,” Gerard says, with another glance at Lawrence.
“Like I said, I will do anything,” I say.
Gerard smiles. “Then I want you to kill Atticus Payne’s family.” 5