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Chapter 58

Six weeks later, we decided I should come back to London for a shorter trip: four days instead of the usual week. Three months was too damn long to wait.

It was a good thing we decided on an earlier trip because the day before I left for London, I found out I would be deploying to Afghanistan again.

Shortly after I returned from my vacation, I would be shipping out for an entire year.

As I read the orders, ice-cold dread filled my stomach.

An entire year away from Rachel.

Three months seemed like an eternity –

And now it was going to be four times as long?

Something else was adding to my dread. The first time I’d gone to Afghanistan, I’d actually been excited. I’d wanted to see combat. I’d wanted to be thrown into the thick of things.

But back then, I didn’t have as much to lose. The hardest part had been leaving my mother to deal with her cancer diagnosis alone.

Yes, I realized I could have been wounded or killed – but that was just a given. When you joined Special Forces, you had to come to terms with the inherent danger.

So besides my fears for my mother, that first deployment felt like I wasn’t giving up much. Just a few creature comforts.

This time, it felt like I was going to lose everything.

I didn’t tell Rachel about my orders. I knew it would cast a pall over the entire trip.

I had to tell her, of course, but I figured I would break the news to her once I was there… maybe the day before I left.

She deserved at least a couple days of happiness before the other shoe dropped.

While I was at the airport waiting to board my 8AM flight, I got a text from Rachel.

The shit hit the fan at work and I got called in.

I don’t think I’ll be able to pick you up at the airport.

Can you grab a taxi to the hotel instead?

I’m so sorry. I’ll get out of here as soon as I can – I promise.

I texted back, No cow on the ice. See you soon.

I got on the plane with a heavy heart, both because of the news about my deployment…

And because I was worried that her work emergency might rob us of what precious time we had left.

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