Chapter 186
Chapter 186
Avery’s POV
Gideon flinched at my words, as though he understood that I was saying that he was one of those worthless wolves who didn’t hold to their commitments.
Truthfully, I was. He expected too much, but I was never allowed to expect anything back. I had given up my entire life for him, but he only saw it as necessary sacrifices for the pack. He had lost the line between his public and personal life so long ago that he no longer understood what it meant when something crossed it.
Our eyes locked on each other, and the rest of the room faded away. Distantly, I could hear Dierdra babbling about something, no doubt whining about how this was all horribly to her, the intruder, the interloper, the cuckoo pushing the true Luna out of her nest.
If all those hours of hard labor had taught me one thing, it was that I did know how to work hard. Certainly, I had done so for my original pack. Once my wolf had failed to manifest, I had been given more noxious tasks; cooking for the family, and mending clothes.
But Silvermoon had been less economically advantaged to begin with. If I was working hard, well, it felt like everyone else was as well. That this was just something that everyone did.
And I had been dealing with my own shame and guilt for not having a wolf. I had thought it was a personal failing, and wanted so badly to please others that I threw myself into everything with sickening enthusiasm.
Here, the punishment truly felt like a punishment because I knew how badly I was needed elsewhere. I might not have been the best Luna in the history of the Wolven Territories, in point of fact, I had only been Luna for a number of weeks before I was removed…
But I had learned to care, and some small measure of skill for my tasks, and what I didn’t know, I made up for in learning. I was determined to do right by this pack, and for my good name. I had learned pride in my accomplishments, and it was more addictive than any other drug could have been.
So, to have finally started to grasp success, and then have it wrenched away thanks to the meddlesome machinations of someone like Dierdra, who only had her own self–interest at heart… well, it stung.
And how could I effectively fight against someone like that? All of my energy went towards being a good Luna, and all of hers went to her own glory. I had no energy or allies left to defend myself …
Which was why losing Gideon hurt so much. I looked into his steely gaze, remembering the evening we had stood under the wedding arch and sworn our oaths to each other. We were supposed to be stronger together, but it felt like I was just expected to be the silent partner. 1
He may have been protector and Alpha for his pack, for Dierdra, but he extended none of the same courtesy to me. I was on my own, the way I had always been. He would come to my bed, but not to my defense.
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Chapter 186
+25 Bonus
So, now I was to be snatched up from my fields and ditches, from the outdoor tasks that had at least given me light and fresh air, and sent to be a dutiful wife and Luna for Nightwolf on his say–so. No apology, no words of encouragement. Nothing that indicated that I was anything more than a useful tool for him to throw at a problem when he needed it.
Meanwhile, in the weeks I had been serving my punishment, my mother had been languishing in some dungeon under the Rogue King’s control. I didn’t even know if she was still alive. Every day I crawled, exhausted, into my bed and yet sleep eluded me because I couldn’t know if in that same darkness, my mother was in pain, or worse. 1
Gideon held all the cards and all the methods of rescue. He controlled hundreds of adept, terrifying warriors, and yet he would not spend them to save his mother–in–law, and I hated him for it.
So, “I refuse,” I repeated, enjoying the way his eyes blinked when I said it, as though he was flinching from the impact of my words, “I would rather you just forget about me. Take Dierdra instead p>
Perhaps if he took her, I would have an opportunity to escape and try to free my mother myself. There would be no one here to stop me with my suffering as their sole goal and source of entertainment, the way Dierdra had made tormenting me her primary hobby.
I was already imagining how I would do it. Pack my bags the minute their car disappeared down the road. Wait until nightfall, then take one of the pack cars and drive, drive towards the rogue territories, and then, when I got close, find some way to disguise myself and make it into the rogue camp…
Ok, so the actual specifics were a bit murky, but the first step would be to get out of here, and to do that, it would be easiest if both Gideon and Dierdra went to this Alpha Council whatever–it–was.
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