Chapter 164
Chapter 165
Amber’s POV
I never really got over the terror of the plane crash. Even being on planes since then where everything went fine, did not cure me of the quickening of my pulse or the way heart seemed to stay lodged in my throat.
Looking at Julian right now, though, with the way he was leaning into me, his eyes on my lips… Yes, this was helping.
I’d asked for a distraction, and Julian was providing in the best possible way.
Gods, I wouldn’t mind having him closer. It’d been too long since I felt the press of his soft lips to mine. I remembered the feeling well, of losing myself to his mouth and his hands.
We’d been terrible at nearly everything else in our relationship, but not the physical. Our sex had always been fantastic. Our make out sessions alone had practically taken me to other planes of existence.
To have those lips on mine again, even for a moment.
I was already starting to melt, leaning into him as he was leaning into me.
With his breath was warm on my lips, I started to close my eyes.
With my eyes closed, I remembered all the pain and hardships I had gone through. How hard I had tried to be the perfect wife for Julian, and how he had kept me hidden in the dark. And when Olivia had gotten pregnant, he wouldn’t even talk to me.
He had pushed me away so thoroughly that I had considered our marriage over. I’d gotten on that plane and
I pulled away from him. Collecting myself, I faced forward on the sofa, while moving over a few precious inches, creating more space between us.
I couldn’t forget that past. No matter how much he had seemingly changed since then, what happened happened and could not be undone.
From the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of disappointment cross Julian’s face, but he covered it quickly by facing forward like I did. We both stared at a random point on the wall.
“I never stopped loving you, Amber,” he said.
More doubt crept up inside of me. “You told me our marriage was about nothing but sex and money.
He paused a moment. “I didn’t mean that when I said it p>
“You sounded like you meant it p>
“I was trying to push you away p>
“Why p>
He fell quiet again. I waited for him to answer. On the plane, it wasn’t like I could go anywhere anyway.
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Chapter 165
+15 BONUS
“I thought I felt more for you than you did for me,” he finally admitted. “So I put up my walls p>
I scoffed with disbelief. “You didn’t even tell anyone I was your wife.” Yet here I was, supposed to believe that he thought he loved me more than I loved him? I just didn’t buy it.
“I didn’t think you were genuine, but I didn’t want to lose you p>
I shook my head. “Tell the truth,” I said. “You just wanted to be with Olivia without consequence p>
“That is not true,” he said flatly, some anger coming into his voice. “That was a mistake p>
“But it still happened,” I said. The old scabs over my heart felt like they had been ripped off, and now I was bleeding into my words. “You still chose her over me, just like you almost did again. You have never been able to see through Olivia, and now it has endangered all of us p>
He was quiet again, and this time I was frustrated by that. I wanted him to tell me I was wrong. Yet, when I looked at him, I saw his face stricken with guilt and with grief.
My heart sunk. Had I gone too far?
“If you’ll excuse me,” he said, standing. “I’ll go back to my office p>
“Julian…” I felt like I should apologize, but the words got bunched up uselessly in my throat.
Maybe those things had been true in the past, but he was here now, trying with Alice and me, and making amends where he could. I shouldn’t have pushed him so hard. I should have…
“I always loved you, Amber, whether you could see it or not,” he said as he stood there, unmoving beside the sofa. “Whether I could see it or not, too p>
Then, without another word, he pushed on, walking to the office, where he closed the door behind himself, leaving me alone.
He had successfully distracted me from my fear of flying, but not in the way I wanted. Instead of a happy distraction, now I was riddled with guilt and regret, thinking of ways to try to make amends with him.
We’d have our chances, I imagined, over the next few weeks, but I still felt bad that I had gone so far.
I wanted to believe that he loved me and that he always had, just as he said, but it was difficult. His actions of the past did not match these words. But that didn’t mean those actions persisted.
He was here now, trying with Alice and with me.
Perhaps he should have seen through Olivia sooner, but he saw her for what she was now.
The only question was, did he realize these things too late for us?
I didn’t know the answer to that. My heart was still behind its own walls, and I wasn’t sure if it would ever reveal itself again long enough for me to even want to take a chance with Julian again.
The plane jostled suddenly with turbulence, and I remembered where I was. I clung onto the arm of the sofa with both hands and did not think of Julian again the rest of the flight.
When we finally landed, I could have kissed the ground. Things between Julian and me were still awkward.
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Chapter 165
+15 BONUS
Though he had emerged from his office, he only asked me how I was before moving forward. He held Alice in his arms though as we stepped off the plane.
I was glad he wasn’t taking out his frustration with me on our daughter.
There was a small group of people waiting for us on the tarmac as we crossed toward the airport.
“Healer Amber!” called a man in a suit with a purple sash across the front. The four other men and women with him were also smartly dressed. “Please allow me to introduce myself. I am Mayor Gibson and this is the town council. We are so glad to have you here p>
They were all smiles. One of the gathered, a woman in a floral dress, immediately started crying when I
looked at her.
I stepped forward then, alarmed and confused. “Are you alright p>
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m just so overwhelmed p>
“We are relieved,” the mayor added. “With your presence here among us, we already sense the end of this pandemic that has haunted us for so long. Our children have been so sick p>
“Please help them,” the woman cried. “Oh, Healer Amber please p>
For a moment, I was filled with regret for having put off this journey for so long. But there was nothing to be done for it now. I couldn’t change the past. I could only move forward.
And that meant helping here and now.
Filled with determination, I told them, “Lead me to the hospital. Let me see what we are dealing with p>
Behind me, Alice coughed.
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